Thursday, August 28, 2008

Ramadan is Coming in September, Everyone Fast!


From the UK: Muslim council chiefs ban ALL members from 'tea and sandwiches' in meetings which take place during Ramadan:

The Islamafascists win. In the UK they not only arrest you for insulting Islam, they wont let you eat your sandwiches.

Councillors have been ordered not to eat during town hall meetings while Muslim colleagues fast during the holy month of Ramadan.

All elected members at Left-wing Tower Hamlets Council in East London have been sent an email asking them to follow strict Islamic fasting during September no matter what their faith.

As well as restricting food and drink until after sunset, the authority's leaders have decided to reduce the number of meetings throughout the month so they do not clash with the requirements of Ramadan.

Ketosis asks "Does that mean the Islamites will have to follow lention practice during lent?"

These cowards are so afraid of insulting Islam and getting beheaded they are bending over backwards. I have been in a Muslim majority country, and guess fucking what? McDonald's is still open during Ramadan! The non-Muslims still go to restaurants! NO ONE is upset or even thinks about it. No one feels upset or insulted! THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Happy Day! Arrival of "My Little Victims"


Sweet Sauce and Beaver Pie! My Little Victims Arrived today!
6 Little Playmates for the "My Little Cthulhu" arrived.

Cthulhu was getting tired of dismembering his 2 Victims.

Soy, destroyer of Testicles and Breasts.


The Ketosis Junkie says:

Stay Away from SOY. Soy Beans, Soy Products Tofu and Soy Milk.
There is no such thing as Lactose Intolerance you simply lack the balls to digest Milk!

There is no such thing as Soy Milk, Milk comes from a tit, only from a tit, unless you first milk the tit and put it in a bottle!

Researchers have linked Soy products to Breast Cancer

The estrogen- like properties of soybean isoflavones therefore provide a basis for concern about soy consumption by breast cancer patients. In fact, although often overlooked, early on it was established that at low concentrations, genistein, the main isoflavone in soybeans, actually stimulates the growth of estrogen-receptor positive (ER+) breast cancer cells in vitro (4). The growth of ER+ breast cancer cells is stimulated by estrogen.

I am not just grabbing at mamories here, (I like to gently caress the breast as it provides a natural food). Here is an article to back it up.

http://www.vegetarian-nutrition.info/vn/soy_breast_cancer.php


At the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston they have also linked consumption of soy based products to lower sperm count.
Eating as little as half serving a day of soy-based foods could be enough to significantly lower a man's sperm count. Now the Ketosis Junkie isn’t stroking you on this, here is the article:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/latest/2008/07/23/soy-based-foods-may-lower-sperm-count-115875-20668288/

So you want milk, drink natural organic RAW milk (not that pasteurized shit, real fucking from the cows tit milk). It contains the correct bacteria levels to help your stomach digest milk.
Man up to it, drink Raw milk, you will not get all bloated and gassy. Give it a week, and you'll be saying, "I got my balls back! I shoot bigger loads then ever before, Thanks Ketosis"

Cause no one got’s your balls back like I do.

Zimbabwe: Mother Fucker


Robert Mugabe is a mother fucker.

He has organized massacres (The Gukurahundi in 1982-1987), he has orchestrated the decline of his nation, where before his rule, they had high standards (for Africa) and during it, is has dwindled. He as staged anti-homosexual campaigns, and depleted his country. Forcing out white land owners and oppressed harassed and killed any and almost all his opposition.

He is the a mother fucker, and deserves to a slow painful death, at the hands of those who have been wronged by him. So hats off to Mugabe, the fearless leader of fuckdom!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Presidential Erections...Elections


Well it is that time again.
I will miss my Bush, I preferred a little trim Bush, to a wide Jungle Bush, but anyway...

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Sunday Morning.



It's Sunday, when we go to church to pray. The house that God Built. I decided to pray last night at this glorious church. Corinthians 13 never looked so good.

So here's to everyone out there, God Bless and have a good week.

Before saying Ketosis is off his rocker, or a blasphemer. Judge not least you be Judged. I believe God made everything, and choose to pray in a more visceral manner.

visceral

Pronunciation:
\ˈvi-sə-rəl, ˈvis-rəl\
Function:
adjective
Date:
1575

1 : felt in or as if in the viscera : deep (a visceral conviction)
2 : not intellectual : instinctive, unreasoning
3 : dealing with crude or elemental emotions : earthy (a visceral novel)
4 : of, relating to, or located on or among the viscera : splanchnic (visceral organs)

Cuban Class Act: Kick the Judge in the Face!


Hats of to Cuba, they really know about fair sports. Martial Arts, honor, respect and humility. The Martial Arts to me (Tae Kwon Do) is about more then punching, kicking and flying through the air. Sports are about more then winning, as well. Sportsmanship is just as important as the results. It is ok to be upset at loosing, but what sits us apart from Neanderthols is retaining composure and loosing with grace. Even if you felt robbed. Someone never said that to Cuba.

Angel Matos and his coach Leudis González are loosers, and not on the field in life. If this is an example of a countries sportsmanship, then fuck that country.

Angel Matos was competing in for the Bronze medal in the men’s over-80 kg (176 pounds) division. He is no stranger to the Olympics either, having won the gold medal in this division at the 2000 Sydney Games, dedicating the victory to his mother, who died on the day of the opening ceremony. At the 2004 Athens Games, he finished 11th.

Nice story about dedicating the Gold to mama punk, I am sure she is rolling over in her grave. But in Cuba punk ass bitches may be all the rage. (Think Castro, think red feather boa).

Matos was winning 3-2, with 1:02 in the second round, when he fell to the mat after being hit by his opponent, Kazakhstan’s Arman Chilmanov. He was sitting there, awaiting medical attention, when he was disqualified for taking too much injury time. Fighters get one minute, and Matos was disqualified when his time ran out. (Ah One minute is 60 secondos bitch!)

Matos angrily questioned the call, pushed a judge, then pushed and kicked referee Chakir Chelbat of Sweden. Matos then spat on the floor and was escorted out.

His coach was a big fan of the movie "Karate Kid" only watching the "Cobra Kai" portion of the movie though. Cuban coach Leudis Gonzalez offered no apology for Matos’ actions during the men’s over-80 kg (176 pounds) match.

“He was too strict,” Gonzalez said, referring to the decision to disqualify Matos. Afterward, he charged the match was fixed, accusing the Kazakhs of offering him money. Revealing himself to be a class act, and as such, why should I appologize to the referree for my athletes actions, He diserved getting his ass kicked. I wonder how these guys treat their wife and kids?

Well they got their dues it would appear, the Cuban taekwondo athlete and his coach were banned for life after Angel Matos kicked the referee in the face following his bronze-medal match disqualification.

“This is a strong violation of the spirit of taekwondo and the Olympic Games,” a World Taekwondo Federation release said. “The sanctions are the following and are effective immediately: Lifetime ban of the coach and athlete in all championships sanctioned by the WTF and at the same time, all records of this athlete at the Beijing Games will immediately be erased.”

In his first match, Matos defeated Italy’s Leonardo Basile, then beat China’s Liu Xiaobo 2-1 in the quarterfinals. But he lost to South Korean Cha Dong-min in the semis to land in the bronze-medal match.

“To me it was obvious he was unable to continue,” Chilmanov said. “His toe on his left foot was broken.”

Matos kicked Chelbat with his left foot.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Is Obama an American?


OK, I am not a big fan of Obama, however is he really a Native American, as the Constitutuion states a president should be?

This is on the Internet and MAY hit the news in a big way.

http://www.obamacrimes.com/

I am not saying anything.

But the alternate would be Hilary and this is the best news the Republicans would have.

Word is on Coast to Coast, that the Rebublicans are waiting for the convention to spring this.

Is so, who is dirtier, the Dems or the GOP?

My thoughts are the GOP. But lets see.

He Kexin: The New Face of Evil




“I’m 16. People who know me know I am 16. What more do I have to say?” So says the new face of state sponsored cheating He Kexin. Believe me, she won the medal and this new face of Evil, will not let it go. She will say that same thing until she dies. Perhaps when that happens we can cut her in half and count the rings on her trunk (the way they do with trees) to figure out how old they are. Because we will never know the truth from China.

What really gets my goat is Fucking China! I mean all the shit of the Olympics.

Sure, they hosted the Olympics, and put people in Prison, they execute between 1000-4000 people every year, they have horrible human rights. Then the Olympics are the way a corrupt regime justifies it self. This is done by putting more people in prison, closing businesses, factories, putting people out of work, and treating the people involved in the event, not like humans, but like slaves. You must sacrifice everything for Mother China. Mother Fucking China. I have been there, I have spent years of my life in Mother Fucking China. I used to love it, but now I would not wipe my ass with China. Not even a diarrhea splattered ass is worth wiping with China.

Now the Chinese Government is decided to field 13 year old Gymnasts as 16 year olds, and because it is a Government sponsored cheating, no one will be able to do shit.

The IOC is a Cancerous worm-infested bleeding Vagina that will not stand up to China on this.

They have Chinese RMB sticking out of everyone of their orifices, to give the Olympics to Beijing.

Here is a link to a Chinese site, the helps expose the truth.

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/billypan101/11740056

Before anyone claims He Kexin is innocent, she is a product of a corrupt government indoctrination program. She is a robot, not a child and as such no sympathy is due her. One hopes in the coming years, He will regret the lies, and admit her age. But that is a slim hope. She is a product of Red China.

Before thinking I am racist, It is not the People of China I am raging about. Rather the regime and the hope for a better China. I feel in love with Eastern Culture as a youth, and want to see a progressive China someday.

China's views on this are the age criteria does not matter. Perhaps the IOC will change that. But that does not change the fact. Cheating, lieing are not to be condoned. But a nation of cheaters, won't get that.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

BEIJING — Two elderly Chinese women have been sentenced to a year of “re-education through labor”


Yeah, Fucking China, and the Olympics.

Here is the price they pay, and the west, George Bush, keeps sucking China's dick.

From the NY Times:
BEIJING — Two elderly Chinese women have been sentenced to a year of “re-education through labor” after they repeatedly sought a permit to demonstrate in one of the official Olympic protest areas, according to family members and human rights advocates.

The women, Wu Dianyuan, 79, and Wang Xiuying, 77, had made five visits to the police this month in an effort to get permission to protest what they contended was inadequate compensation for the demolition of their homes in Beijing.

During their final visit on Monday, public security officials informed them that they had been given administrative sentences for “disturbing the public order,” according to Li Xuehui, Ms. Wu’s son.

Mr. Li said his mother and Ms. Wang, who used to be neighbors before their homes were demolished to make way for a redevelopment project, were allowed to return home but were told they could be sent to a detention center at any moment. “Can you imagine two old ladies in their 70s being re-educated through labor?” he asked. He said Ms. Wang was nearly blind.

A man who answered the phone at the Public Security Bureau declined to give out information about the case.

At least a half dozen people have been detained by the authorities after they responded to a government announcement late last month designating venues in three city parks as “protest zones” during the Olympics. So far, no demonstrations have taken place.

According to Xinhua, the state news agency, 77 people submitted protest applications, none of which were approved. Xinhua, quoting a public security spokesperson, said that apart from those detained all but three applicants had dropped their requests after their complaints were “properly addressed by relevant authorities or departments through consultations.” The remaining three applications were rejected for incomplete information or for violating Chinese law.

The authorities, however, have refused to explain what happened to applicants who disappeared after they submitted their paperwork. Among these, Gao Chuancai, a farmer from northeast China who was hoping to publicize government corruption, was forcibly escorted back to his hometown last week and remains in custody.

Relatives of another person who was detained, Zhang Wei, a Beijing resident who was also seeking to protest the demolition of her home, were told she would be kept at a detention center for a month. Two rights advocates from southern China have not been heard from since they were seized last week at the Public Security Bureau’s protest application office in Beijing.

Ms. Wu and Ms. Wang were well known to the authorities for their persistent campaign for greater compensation for the demolition of their homes. Mr. Li said his family had given up their home in 2001 with the expectation that they would get a new one in the development that replaced it. Instead, he said, the family has been forced to live in a ramshackle apartment on the capital’s outskirts.

“I feel very sad and angry because we’re only asking for the basic right of living and it’s been six years, but nobody will do anything to help them,” Mr. Li said.

He said that he and Ms. Wang’s daughter tried to apply for their own protest permit on Tuesday but that the police would not even give them the necessary forms.

The two elderly women were given administrative sentences to re-education through labor, known as laojiao, which seeks to reform political and religious dissenters and those charged with minor crimes like prostitution and petty theft. Government officials say that 290,000 people are detained in re-education centers for terms ranging from one to three years, although detentions can be extended for those whose rehabilitation is deemed inadequate.

Human rights advocates have long criticized the system because punishment is handed down by officials without trials or means of appeal. Last year, the government briefly grappled with revamping the system but backed off in the face of opposition from public security officials.

Although it is unlikely that women as old as Ms. Wu and Ms. Wang would be forced into hard labor, many of those sentenced to laojiao often toil in agricultural or factory work and are forced to confess their transgressions.

Tang Xuemei contributed research.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Love the Olympics


Nothing is more nationalistic, more in your face patriotic then beating the pants off of a foreign power on the international stage!

The only other thing that comes close is all the kissing, butt grabbing and patting on the back! One would think the members of the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC)would be going crazy with all this touchy feely stuff. However they probably don't know what the Olympics are, as I am sure they don't have a TV among them. They are pretty much absorbed in getting ready to picket the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. Also they are too stupid to fill out the VISA Requirements, as one aspect of going to China is having most of your teeth (I meant wits).

Before you get upset over the picture, Ketosis has no problem with some cultures (even those transplanted here) where relatives, and friends kiss each other, even on the lips. It is really common in Eastern Europe. It occurs in Nature, Look at the Bonobo ape (Pygmy Chimpanzee). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo for Example.

So knock it off with the big deal of girls kissing and fathers kissing their daughters in the Gymnastics competition already. I for one am retiring to the bathroom to read the American Beach Volleyball Monthly special Woman's Olympic edition. I will not be disturbed for the next 20 minutes!

Monday, August 18, 2008

My Bed is Faster then Yours!


Yes, The Ketosis Junkie has upgraded sleeping arrangements.
Sorry to disappoint you all it is not a Chinese Sex Bed, but rather something a little more racy. A Car-Bed!

Inspired by the likes of The Darknight (Batman was always a little to gay for me) and "Grandma's Boy". I have ordered a Car-Bed! But not for myself, (Sadly) rather for a nephew in Texas, who needs to race away to sleep. I am helping out a relative, who is could use a little upgrade for his son.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Have Nice Weekend`


Hope your weekend was good! Here I am, Sunday Morning.

Spain: Racist Cabrone


OK, making fun of Spain, is OK now. A second group of Spanish Olympic athletes has been photographed making “slant-eyed” gestures, threatening to overshadow the Beijing Games over racial stereotyping.

The latest photo to emerge is of Spanish women tennis players posing with the slant, apparently in anticipation of their Federation Cup match against China in April.

Pictures of the Spanish men’s and women’s basketball teams making this vile gesture, a crude impersonation of Chinese people. These photos were published in adverts in Spanish newspapers earlier this week.

I think the should ban Spain from the next Olympics, Other then Tennis, would it matter? So far Spain has 6 Medals, 3 Gold, 2 Silver and 1 Bronze.

So to the Spanish Athletes I have to say "Chinga Tu Madre!" and have a nice day!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Man's penis stuck in park bench



Ketosis Say: "Don't have sex with Park Bench, unless you wear a condom".

A MAN is lucky to still have a penis after he inserted it in a metal park bench and became stuck, doctors say.
At least a dozen police and emergency services workers were called to the park in Hong Kong after 41-year-old Le Xing’s penis became trapped in a hole, apparently after he became aroused.

According to reports from Hong Kong, the “lonely and disturbed” Mr Xing told police he thought it would be fun to have sex with the bench, UK’s The Telegraph reported.

Unfortunately for Mr Xing, news crews descended on the park to film the rescue effort:

Doctors had tried to drain some of Mr Xing’s blood in an attempt to loosen his penis, but to no avail.

Rescuers eventually cut away part of the bench and Mr Xing was taken to hospital where doctors took another four hours to free him.

They said if Mr Xing had been stuck for another hour they would have had to amputate his penis.

China Opening Ceremony: The Dark Side


This is so Typical China: From
http://www.aftenposten.no/english/sports/article2592984.ece

Viewers from around the globe marvelled at the Opening Ceremony last Friday. One of the most spectacular features was the martial arts display by 2008 pupils from the famous Shaolin Centre in Henan province. With coordinated movements, they showed the Tai Chi variant of Kung Fu; a popular way to relax for many Chinese people.

The skillful and well-executed show took a severe toll on many of the participants; both those who took part and the performers who were held in reserve.

Many of the martial arts performers feel abused and ignored by the Olympic organizers. For the last year, they have been housed 50 to a room, more than 70 kilometres from the ‘Bird’s Nest’ National arena. This is where they have slept, eaten and spent all their time.

Leaving the compound around the barracks was strictly forbidden. The dormitories are crammed with bunk beds. Between 30 and 50 of the teenagers spent the night in each room. Only a few of the showers work and the toilet facilities have been bad. The winter was icy and in summer, the pupils had to battle against mosquitoes and the heat.

"After repeated complaints they finally installed air-conditioning in the sleeping quarters. However, most of the equipment was so old that it didn't work," says one of the pupils.

Most of the 2500 performers have been sent home after the opening ceremony. The few that remain in order to take part in the closing ceremony are extremely angry about the treatment they have received from the Olympic organizers.

"The food is the worst thing. We’ve had the same two courses for dinner for a year. Sometimes there hasn't been enough for everyone. Those who have arrived last haven't got anything to eat," says a pupil.

He adds that he "wants to throw up," when the food is served.

"We never get noodles or dumplings. All we get is rice," he says.

Another pupil describes his disappointment as he arrived in Beijing last year. "We were proud at being chosen to take part. We all had great dreams about what we were going to do, what we were going to see and what big stars we would become, but all we've seen is the inside of this military camp. The only thing we dream of now is going home," he says.

Conditions have been so bad that their trainer, Kung Fu master Liu Haike, has sent a series of complaints to the Olympic organizers. The complaints did have some effect.

"In the end, the pupils got enough to eat, even if the diet was extremely monotonous," he says to daily newspaper Aftenposten.

Liu describes pressure from the organizers as extreme. Everything had to be perfect. As result the performers had to practice up to 16 hours a day. "The test performance of the opening ceremony was worst of all. The pupils had to remain in the stadium for 51 hours. They were hardly fed. There was nowhere to sleep. Some managed to sleep on the seats, but they didn't get more than a couple of hours at most," says Liu.

Bigfoot Update: Bigfoot is Human/Opossum Hybrid.


Well, the press conference appears to be a bust. No evidence really, just some more blurry photos, and lots of people saying the online photo matches a $400 Bigfoot costume for sale on the internet. (See Photo fbove).

phttp://thehorrordome.com/HDSHOPPINGPROPS/SasquatchLARGE.htm

The first round of DNA tests (three samples in all) proved nothing, but points us down the road that this is a hoax. of the tests, one came back inconclusive, one contained traces of human DNA and one had traces of opossum DNA.

I think what they are telling us here, is Bigfoot is a Human/Opossum Hybrid.
I mean with hybrid cars all the rage, hybrid humans would be a big media event.

There will be more DNA testing. The 2 Georgians claim the first was only preliminary and the Human DNA was contamination and the Opossum was something Bigfoot ate. An Opossum eating Bigfoot? What a diet. Opossum on a stick? Or deep fried Opossum?

One of the new photos are of other Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) that were stalking the 2 Georgian hunters as they moved the body out of the wilderness. The other new photo is of Bigfoot's teeth.

The two will only let their own handpicked Scientist examine the body. They are getting ready for an autopsy of the animal. The Scientists are about to get involved, but one is on holiday until tomorrow and two others from Russia have yet to arrive in the US, they said. (How convenient we are at odds with Russia over Georgia? (the other Georgia). Perhaps the Russian Bigfoot scientist will be delayed as they may have a Bigfoot emergency in South Ossetia, that will delay them.

But Fox has a reporter that will be the first journalist to see the dead animal, maybe as early as this week, they said.

Well, hope springs eternal, and I hope they make us all eat our words.

Friday, August 15, 2008

My Little Cthulhu Arrives


Yes, Another Great Day!

My Little Cthulhu arrives complete, with two Victims / Worshipers / Priests. For Cthulhu is he who dead lies dreaming.

'In His House at R'lyeh Dead Cthulhu waits dreaming,
yet He shall rise and His kingdom shall cover the Earth.'

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Ponceman


I have to admit one thing today, was a kewl day, in the way I did not get arrested (more on that later) and I received 2 refrigerator magnets and a letter from the Ponceman. I really dug that.

The Ponceman (Josh Perry) I discovered from a friend is the "Retarded Policeman". He has a bunch of really funny videos on YouTube.

Josh is an actor, and is hilarious. Yes, if you see it, he is retarded. But man he is funny. WTF you might be saying? Laughing at a retarded person? Well that aint right. The man is a comic actor and is tearing down walls. HE IS FUNNY! We are retarded in that thinking. I love making people laugh, and can not come close to what he has done.

http://www.ponceman.com/Ponceman/Welcome.html

I have to admit seeing the retarded policeman, felt odd at first, but Ponce was so funny, and after seeing his family and him film responses to viewers, I kicked myself in the butt and had to say "You go Ponce!"

He is hilarious and real. Check out his site, or check out him on YouTube. I already have a link on the right of this blog.

UK: Former Cop Faces Gang that Threatened to Kill him, goes to Jail!


The UK has lost it's balls. The same nation that for fear of offending Muslims, change the 3 little pig story to the 3 little puppies, does not want to offend anyone, including gang members.

A Former Police Officer Stood up to a Gang that threatened to kill him: Results he gets arrested


Paul Lawson 52, a retired police officer had a night out in Morpeth town center, and was being driven home by his wife. As they left the parking lot a beer can hit their car. It was thrown by a gang member. Mr Lawson confronted the gang.

Mr Lawson (a former police officer) had intended to make a citizens arrest but was quickly surrounded by 12 gang members and told to leave or he would be killed. The gang also informed him they'd wreck his car if they saw it in the town again.

Mr Lawson spoke to patrolling officers who proceeded to ignore him and not take down any details. One of the gang later claimed to have been assaulted by Mr Lawson and he was quickly summoned to a police station and arrested.

Mr Lawson said last night: 'I still can't believe this. At the time this happened, I was distraught about going through the whole process, bearing in mind the background I come from. As far as I am concerned, they just abrogated their responsibility and should be ashamed of themselves.'

The beer can was thrown as Mr Lawson's wife Chris, a 54-year-old nurse, drove him and his brother out of a car park in Morpeth town centre after a night out.

Mr Lawson said: 'There was the usual crowd of boy racers who gather in Morpeth and I got out and moved towards them. I was planning on making a citizen's arrest, but things very quickly turned nasty.

'I was surrounded by about 12 of them. They told me to leave or they would kill me. The ringleader said if he saw my car parked in Morpeth again they would wreck it.'

Mr Lawson was surprised that the police patrol took no action, and astonished to be read his rights at the local police station.

He said: 'I was told I had been arrested on suspicion of actual bodily harm and that a youth claimed I had grabbed and bruised him. I was absolutely furious, it was unbelievable.

'The police refused my solicitor's submission that there was clearly no need for further action. About seven weeks after the original incident, I got a call to say there was no case for me to answer. It caused a lot of worry and stress for my wife and I.

'I have not heard about any action against the youths. I am still waiting for my allegations to be investigated and I am very angry about the whole experience.

'After 30 years serving as a policeman and upholding the Queen's peace, I could have acted as a professional witness and perhaps got rid of yobs who at times are the scourge of Morpeth.'

Chief Inspector John Barnes of Northumbria Police refused to comment on the incident, adding: 'Anyone who feels unhappy with the way they have been treated can make use of our official complaints procedure.'

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

BIGFOOT is Real!


Ok, your probably thinking the Ketosis Junkie is off the mark here. Probably thinking I am about to go off on some tangent.

Well yeah, your right!

BIGFOOT IS REAL!

Or so claim some gentlemen from Georgia who say they got a body of one.
They plan to release a photo and what they claim will be DNA evidence at a news conference in Palo Alto on Friday August 15th.

They claim the Bigfoot was found in the woods of northern Georgia.
Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, are the bigfoot hunters, and the claim is being supported by a Bay Area Bigfoot researcher Tom Biscardi.

Here is the press release:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 12, 2008
BIGFOOT BODY FOUND
DNA evidence and photo evidence to be presented at a
PRESS CONFERENCE
to be held on
Date: Friday, August 15, 2008
Time: From 12Noon-1:00pm
Place: Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto (A Crown Plaza Resort) 4290 El Camino Real, Palo Alto, California 94306

Searching for Bigfoot, Inc. Menlo Park, California
Tom Biscardi, CEO

BIGFOOT BODY FOUND - EVIDENCE AND DNA DETAILS TO BE PRESENTED AT A PRESS CONFERENCE ON FRIDAY, AUGUST 15th

FROM 12 N00N TO 1:00PM AT THE CABANA HOTEL-PALO ALTO IN PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA

A body that may very well be the body of the creature commonly known as “Bigfoot” has been found in the woods in northern Georgia.

DNA evidence and photo evidence of the creature will be presented in a press conference on Friday, August 15th from 12 Noon to 1:00pm at the Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto at 4290 El Camino Real in Palo Alto, California, 94306. The press conference will not be open to the public. It will only be open to credentialed members of the press.
Here are some of the vital statistics on the “Bigfoot” body:
*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
*It weighs over five hundred pounds.
*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
*It is male.
*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
five toes on each foot.
*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are
eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
*DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.

Ketosis say "Hairy Men running around the woods naked, might get themselves shot".

More to come!

Tom Cruise is fat and balding


Ok, this is only partially true, as the picture reveals.

I don't hate Mr. Cruise, I do think the Scientology think is a crock, but before casting stones at peoples religions, judge not lest ye be judged.

Anyway, the guy as a bit part in "Tropic Thunder" and I am looking forward to seeing the movie. I think it looks funny, pokes fun at a lot of stuff and that is what the Ketosis Junkie is all about. Check out the pic at your own risk.

Also Remember Obama is not Black. He is 1/2 Cracker. And I can say Cracker all I want.

BTW here is a blog that I endorse.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

They have rejected my suggestion for Item 101: Cross Burning, but I am hopeful.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Giant Turd Floats Away


A giant inflatable dog turd created by the American artist Paul McCarthy was blown from its moorings at a Swiss museum, bringing down a power line and breaking a window before landing in the grounds of a children's home.

The exhibit, entitled Complex Shit, is the size of a house. It has a safety system that is supposed to deflate it in bad weather, but it did not work on this occasion.

Juri Steiner, the director of the Paul Klee centre, in Berne, told AFP that a sudden gust of wind carried it 200 metres before it fell to the ground, breaking a window of the children's home. The accident happened on July 31, but the details only emerged yesterday.

Steiner said McCarthy had not yet been contacted and the museum was not sure if the piece (pictured here) would be put back on display.

The installation is part of an exhibition called East of Eden: A Garden Show, which features sound sculptures in trees and a football ground without goalposts. The exhibition opened in May and is due to run until October.

here is a link to the museum with the turd.

http://www.paulkleezentrum.ch/ww/en/pub/web_root/pro/wechselausstellungen/der_vorgarten.cfm

Spain in Hot Water for Racist Add


The Spanish Basketball Federation took out a full-page ad in the country's largest sports newspaper, Marca, wishing the men's and women's teams good luck in the Beijing games. The photo accompanying the ad, however — showing all team members making a slant-eyed gesture — raised eyebrows and sparked international outrage.

The heavily favored Spanish team, the reigning world champions, took the court Tuesday against China, and was greeted with typical Chinese polite applause — mixed with a rare sprinkle of boos. Spain went on to win in overtime, 85-75.

The Guardian newspaper reported that no one from the federation felt the ad was inappropriate, and that no offense was intended.

Ah guys, even Ketosis knows, that aint right. You Paella eating Spunkos!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Iran Swimmer pulls out, as he has to race Israeli.


Olympics are political, they are nationalistic events.

Iranian swimmer Mohammad Alirezaei pulled out of the men’s 100m breaststroke minutes before he was due to compete against Israel’s Tom Beeri, who finished fourth.

I.O.C. Says Iran May Face Discipline in Israel Swimming Incident

Iran may face action from the International Olympic Committee if its swimmer deliberately pulled out of the men’s 100m breaststroke heats because an Israeli was also racing, Olympic officials said Sunday.

“Under the spirit of respect and fair play, if it is confirmed that he deliberately pulled out then the IOC would take it seriously,” IOC spokeswoman Giselle Davies told Agence France-Presse.

Beeri made no mention of the non-appearance after the race.

Iran’s semi-official Mehr news agency said that Alirezaei pulled out because of illness.

Iran has not competed against Israel at the Olympic Games since the 1979 revolution.

The Iranian National Olympic Committee (INOC) said earlier Saturday that there would be no issue with Alirezaei attending the competition.

Yeah right. Ill my ass. He was probably had death threats if he entered the water with an Israeli.

China is Heating up.


The fatal stabbing of the father of a former Olympian at a Beijing landmark cast a sad shadow over the first full day of Olympic competition Saturday, just hours after China's jubilant opening of the Summer Games.

Todd and Barbara Bachman of Lakeville, Minn. — parents of 2004 volleyball Olympian Elisabeth "Wiz" Bachman and in-laws of U.S. men's volleyball coach Hugh McCutcheon — were attacked by a Chinese man while visiting the 13th-century Drum Tower.

I used to live next to Lakeville, I lost my virginity to a girl from Lakeville. Bachman's is an established Business in Minnesota.

Here is the memorial.
http://www.visionsweb.com/ToddBachman/index.asp

This is a sad thing, tragedy visits us all. I had prayed the Olympics would be have some politics, some type of coming to the world about the oppresive regiem in China, and the way the world turns a blind eye. But not for violence.

But it grows.

At least five people were killed and several more were critically injured in a series of bomb explosions in China's far west region of Xinjiang, in what looks increasingly like a concerted bombing campaign by Muslim separatists to coincide with the Beijing Olympics.

Witnesses described how attackers threw home made bombs at a police station and office buildings, injuring police and security guards and destroying two police cars. Five of the attackers were reported to have been killed at the scene.

Let's hope the violence has run it's course. But there will be repercussions.

There already are: The police are running house to house searches in Xinjiang, and these are smash the door in searches. Funny, how in the name of fighting terror, the first thing to go is human rights!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

The Ketosis Junkie, Hangs his head in Shame



That's right, fellow War Mongers and Hippies.

Living in Fremont, CA for 10+ years and NEVER coming across this virtual treasure trove of Beer.

Yes, the Ketosis Junkie is ashamed of himself.

Mission Pizza and Pub has been around a long, long time. Right off of 680 and Washington Ave. in a little strip mall is a Pizza Restaurant that has 32 Micro brews on tap. Not a Bud, or MGB, or Heineken in that line up (Bud and Bud Light are in bottles for the urine drinkers out there), but 32 micros from all over the place. (ok, in terms of full disclosure, they had 6 imports and a cider!).

Lots of IPAs and imperial, IPAs, or double IPAs, but hoppy, high gravity beer!

(India Pale Ale, abbreviated as IPA, is a distinct style of beer and is characterized as a sparkling pale ale with a slightly higher level of alcohol and hops than a typical pale ale; the hops lend it a distinct bitterness in aroma and taste.)

The pizza is tasty too!

Kudos to the people who run it, and the family style place has live music on Fridays and Saturdays. But they close at 10pm, in keeping with a nice, laid back family environment, it is a refreshing little bit of heaven here in the hills of Fremont CA.

Here is their website. http://www.missionpizza.com/

No beer list as it changes all the time. Buy guaranteed, you will find something weird, and something hoppy here.

This will be a good place to watch some football!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Russian Invasion of Georgia


Well, Jimmy Carter is Pissed about that.

All kidding aside, this was planned to happen on the day the Olympics started and Putin and Bush would both be out of their prospective countries. I am sure this was no accident. Bush and Putin I am sure had words.

Putin would have said something like this:
"Fuck you, Georgia is NOT part of NATO and will never be, I'm fucking taking it back!"

Bush's response would be:
"Vlad, nice chicken skewers here at the buffet ehh? BTW I don't care about Georgia, they were gonna be one of the blue states in the next election anyway."

"Bush you fucking putz, Georgia the fucking country! I invaded it!" Snaps Putin.


"oh yeah, that, well NATO will handle that, have some Chicken Vlad, it's better for you!"

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Scenerio: Bush gets arrested by Chinese Officials


Here's a scenario for you.

Our president, arrives at Beijing, the Olympics get rolling. A couple of US Athletes protest and get beat upon by the Chinese. Bush makes an announcement, condemning the Chinese and gets arrested. (After a few tense moments, the Secret Service are told by the Commander in Chief to stand down.

Dick Cheney is in charge. He in a disheveled manner, strides into the oval office with his trusty shotgun. "I'm in charge now!".

Let's prepare to nuke the Olympics. Nobody arrests the President! Cheney does not seam to care that the same strike would kill the President.

Meanwhile, the US Athletes (primarily the Basketball team, the gymnastic team, the cyclist and the synchronized swimmers) unite, to form a commando team to free the President and prevent nuclear Armageddon.

Meanwhile Condi has to distract Cheney enough to delay the attack...

More to come.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Olympic Protests: Getting Warmed Up


Foreign activists unfurled pro-Tibet banners at a key Olympics venue Wednesday and spoke out against China's rights record in Tiananmen Square, in the first attempts to use the spotlight of the games to raise other issues.

One athlete, U.S. swim star Amanda Beard, also made a public political gesture, on behalf of animal rights.

All of the groups tangled with Chinese authorities, who are determined to make sure the communist government's plan for the Beijing Games to be an international showcase for the country goes off without a hitch.

Two men from Students for a Free Tibet each climbed a light pole in front of the so-called Bird's Nest and put up the banners at dawn, said Lhadon Tethong, the New York-based group's executive director. The other two — a man and a woman — provided support from the base of the poles, she said.

Later Wednesday, three Americans spent almost an hour in the iconic Tiananmen Square criticizing Beijing's handling of issues ranging from forced abortions to the banned Falun Gong spiritual movement to pro-democracy demonstrations in 1989.

"It was important for us that there be a clear voice speaking out against the Chinese government's abuse of human rights," Rev. Patrick Mahoney, director of the Christian Defense Coalition in Washington, said in a telephone interview.

The trio also set up a banner in the square that said "Christ is King" and knelt and prayed. Brandi Swindell, national director of the activist group Generation Life, also put out seven roses in memory of those who died in the military crackdown on pro-democracy protests on and near the square in 1989.

Day in History: One Little Boy kills 70,000 in Japan


8:15 August 6th, 1945 the world changed significantly. The United States Unleashed the atomic bomb. The course of Human history was altered. We had used a weapon of mass destruction and 70,000 lives were wiped out in an instant. The weapon's yield was considered very inefficient was a gun type FISSION WEAPON. It's yield was only 13 Kilotons. That said a single bomb had a blast radius of about one mile.

White people really are the killer angels.

90% of Hiroshima's buildings were destroyed or partially destroyed.


Say what you will this WAS a humane way to end the war.

The coming invasion of Japan was sure to cause the lose of over 100,000 of American lives, and probably millions of Japanese. Also at risk was the execution of ~100,000 POWs who would have been disposed of, had Japan's mainland been invaded.

The Japanese, were extremely tenacious, and would have fought even harder (if possible) as they had in the Japanese Islands of Iwo Jima, Okinawa and others. Civilians would have been sacrificed, or killed themselves in droves.

You have to remember 100,000 lives were killed in the fire bombing of Tokyo, that had been going on, and would have continued.

Yes, atomic weapons are terrible, Japan paid the price, but was it not due?

The military mentality was if a human was not a Japanese, they are sub human. Massacres in China and other areas proved that. Mayby in way this is the karmic payback for this.

We all paid for it, now we have nukes in France, China, Russia, USA, Britain, India, Pakistan, Israel and Iran. May the number decrease, lest our Alien oversears come down and kick our ass.

Osama bin Laden's driver convicted of war crimes, Up next we go after his Dry Cleaner!

A panel of six military officers convicted Salim Ahmed Hamdan, a former driver for Osama bin Laden, of a war crime, completing the first military commission trial at Guantánamo.

Yeah, we got his driver, next his dry cleaner, then we have plans for rounding up his Barista's and his barber. Somewhere bin Laden, is struggling to operate a car or shift his camel into 4 wheel drive.

After closing arguments Monday, Charles D. Swift, a former Navy lawyer who has represented Mr. Hamdan for years, said the two-week proceeding here had been a trial that did not follow the American rule of law and that the defense believed American courts would eventually correct the legal errors here. Mr. Swift called the military commission “a made-up tribunal to try anybody we don’t like.”

There are holes in the system. 7 years to await trail is too long. We are not at war with a government, we are fighting a vaguely defined war on terror, which I fear is infringing on the basis of our constitution.

There are people out there who want to destroy us, this is clear, however I wonder sometimes, are some of those people in Washington?

Our Googler-in-Chief is going to China to put his stamp of approval on the Olympics.

The Democratic Candidate, is a 1/2craker 1/2 Afro-can American who in my opinion, stands for nothing, other then that. (he flops his flip all the time).

The Republican Candidate can't even use the internet, does NOT use e-mail.

WTF?

Our choices here suck.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

It's Gonna Be FUN! Olympic Fever!


Well, It looks like it is starting.

Four track cyclists from the US, wore masks when they arrived in Bejing.
The masks were specially designed by and issued to them by the United States Olympic Committee.

It is reported the U.S.O.C.’s lead exercise physiologist, Randy Wilber, had advised U.S. Olympians to wear the masks on the plane and as soon as they stepped foot in Beijing.

However someone got upset. U.S.O.C. officials were apparently unhappy with that choice, reprimanding the cyclists for walking off the plane wearing the masks, two of the team members said. The two cyclists said they did not remember the name of the U.S.O.C. official.

Ah Dude, it's my fucking lungs, ok?

Apparently the U.S.O.C. officials are bying the Chinese government's statements about the air quality.

"It's not pollution in the air ok!, It's humidity, and evaporation!"
It's normal for humidity and evaporation to look like that."

Well, I have been in some pretty humid areas like Thailand, and just after it rained, when it was say, 35 Degrees Celsius. Where we had a lot of humidity and evaporation too. But I still could see across the street, down the block.

Apparently Chinese Beijing Humidity and Evaporation is different then any other place. (it might have more H2S, CO, and other components, that are normal, natural and NOT pollution.

Monday, August 4, 2008

China Olympics


In a terrible attack, 16 Chinese Policemen were reported killed in Western China. The attack is blamed on Uighur separatists.

Two men armed with knives and explosives ambushed a military police unit in China’s majority Muslim northwest Monday morning, killing 16 officers and wounding 16 others before being arrested, according to the state media.

Officials suggested the attackers were associated with a murky separatist movement seeking independence for China’s Uighur minority, a Turkic-speaking Muslim people who dominate the Xinjiang Uighur Autonomous Region.

I have said some things about the Olympics, but I violence is not one of them. My thoughts are with the families (always) of the dead and injured.

However no doubt China will be full force on high alert. This gives them the excuse to rollover anything that is against order. That will include protesters.

On a weather note:

The PLA Website reports the air is good and clear.

But the New York times is saying it's bad and athletes are complaining.

Well the reality is on Saturday it was pretty good, see pic above. But Monday it sucked again.

My hopes are a peaceful Olympics with a humanitarian demonstration of human goodwill for all. If a few people could unfurl a Tibetan Flag, or Fulong Gong poser or two on the Platforms, then that's great.

Hacked_Account

OK, I just had an incident where I could not log in, my Blog Account and e-mail account addressed to this blog was hacked. I reset it, and am on, but this is weird.

Is the Ketosis Junkie Paranoid? Is the War Monger Hippy Hawk getting people riled up?

Or, am I a dumb-ass, and forgot my password? Well, I did not forget the password, but something happened.

If you read my blog, and find offensive material taken off, or writtings praising our leadership and the Nations of China, Zimbabwe, North Korea, Argentina and Cuba, you can assume I have been taken out. But do not worry. As we speak I have contacted various women, to bear my clones. These accelerated children will become activated should anything happen to yours truly. YOU CANT STOP THE SIGNAL!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Treat Women with Respect


"Wonderwomen reveals she lost the Remote"

Hi All,

I was in Thailand recently, sitting as I like to do on a Sunday afternoon, in Bangkok, enjoying an Erdinger Dunkel (Erdinger Dunkel Weizen beer). I am not big on Thai Beer. I was minding my own business, eating some Pad Thai and watching sports, you know relaxing.

In comes a tall white guy, he sits next to me and we make eye contact. I say "How ya doing?" We chit chat a bit, and then he starts telling me about how he is not doing so well. My mistake, I probe (not really wanting to probe, but I do it anyhow).

He tells me he is from Denmark and the sad story of how his girl friend (a Thai Bar Girl) has been cheating on him. He expands this on how he has been working as an English Teacher and paying for the apartment he, her and her child live.

I ask him, as you know she's a bar girl (These Girls Bar Girls are notorious for being butterfly's), they always are on the lookout for a better deal.

He explains how beautiful she is, and how hot her body is. Blinded by the poontang, sad, sad, pitiful.

I interrupt him abruptly, "you drink the milk, you don't buy the cow, especially with girls who work in bars.”

He explains she has a child. He felt like he could take care of her. "Is the child yours?" I ask.

“No. he admits, but I like the kid.”

"Your a patsy, a nice guy, you got what you paid for, an instant family, sex and domestic issues while she was shopping for another bigger wallet. You did not figure that out? “

"I guess now I did" He admitted. "But I got her back", he says with a sudden glee.

I probe him one last time, "What do you mean?"

"I caught her coming back this morning, and I punched her in the face!"

Ketosis is against this type of violence, or ANY domestic violence. Sure she may have been fucking around, but that is the nature of people in her position (Poverty, making money flirting with foreign men and drinking all night). It may be wrong from a morality take, as she was using him. But does punching her, proves what?

Maybe in Denmark you behave like that. But my momma, who's first husband was a drunk puncher(a drunk who practiced punching his wife) made it clear, you don't beat on women (less they are beating on you).

He argued how she inflected pain on him, he had the right hurt her back.

Tit for Tat? She hurt him with her vagina, he hurt her with his fist. Is that right? Not in my book. I called the man a loser, Because that is what I saw. He didn't like my words. I asked him if he was going to hit me as well. We left the bar. A couple of guys behind us, championed Ketosis views.

I guess my thoughts on this any abuse should be met with one response, leave. Mental, sexual or physical abuse, should be met with appropriate action. Leave, call the authorities, kick them out ect.

Our Hero from Denmark was a good 6 foot 2 inches tall. I am sure the Thai bar girl was considerably smaller. Not that size matters…

Identity Theft


Well the War Monger Hippy Hawk had his Identity Stolen. You hear about it, but you always think it is someone else.

It left this poor soul cashless for a spell, but that is not what really got my goat.

The ID Thief bought a fucking ZUNE!

I mean, if someone was smart enough to steal my fucking Identity, I would have hoped they were cool, in a sinister sort of way. Like Dr. Evil, or Alan Rickman in Robin Hood.

But they are lame, lame like Al Gore, they bought a fricken Zune. This adds insult to injury.

A friend tried to make be feel better, saying they could have bought some stupid (Samsung, Creative or LG) brand media player... Yeah, well people who by that stuff are too stupid to rip off anyones ID.

Friday, August 1, 2008

of Heros


Michael Monsoor is a hero, and as such was sent off by his fellow SEALs. This mostly missed the major news networks. But his sacrifice and his fellow SEALs send off is worthy of my blog. He was posthumously awarded a Medal of Honor and a Silver Star for his bravery.

In 2006, on September 29th, in Ramadi, Iraq Michael Monsoor saved his fellow SEALs, by throwing himself on a grenade.

The following is from NavySeals.com
http://www.navyseals.com/michael-monsoor

“On 29 September (2006), Monsoor was part of a sniper overwatch security position in eastern Ramadi, Iraq, with three other SEALs and eight Iraqi soldiers. They were providing overwatch security while joint and combined forces were conducting missions in the area. Ramadi had been a violent and intense area for a very strong and aggressive insurgency for some time. All morning long the overwatch position received harassment fire that had become a typical part of the day for the security team. Around midday, the exterior of the building was struck by a single rocket propelled grenade (RPG), but no injuries to any of the overwatch personnel were sustained. The overwatch couldn’t tell where the RPG came from and didn’t return fire.”

“A couple of hours later, an insurgency fighter closed on the overwatch position and threw a fragment grenade into the overwatch position which hit Monsoor in the chest before falling in front of him. Monsoor yelled, “Grenade!” and dropped on top of the grenade prior to it exploding. Monsoor’s body shielded the others from the brunt of the fragmentation blast and two other SEALs were only wounded by the remaining blast.”

“One of the key aspects of this incident was the way the overwatch position was structured. There was only one access point for entry or exit and Monsoor was the only one who could have saved himself from harm. Instead, knowing what the outcome would be, he fell on the grenade to save the others from harm. Monsoor and the two injured were evacuated to the combat outpost battalion aid station where Monsoor died approximately 30 minutes after the incident from injuries sustained by the grenade blast.”

On March 31, 2008, the United States Department of Defense confirmed that Monsoor would posthumously receive the Medal of Honor from the president of the United States, George W. Bush, for his valiant and selfless actions to save the lives of his SEAL teammates by sacrificing his own, during combat in Ramadi, Iraq on September 29, 2006.

Received the Silver Star posthumously for previous heroic actions in Iraq on May 9, 2006 when he pulled a wounded teammate to safety while under hostile enemy fire. Monsoor was engaged in a firefight in Ramadi when, according to the military report, “he and another SEAL pulled a team member shot in the leg to safety while bullets pinged off the ground around them.”

During Mike Monsoor's funeral in San Diego, as his coffin was being moved from the hearse to the grave site at Ft. Rosecrans National Cemetery, SEALs were lined up on both sides of the pallbearers route forming a column of two's, with the coffin moving up the center. As Mike's coffin passed, each SEAL, having removed his gold Trident from his uniform, slapped it down embedding the Trident in the wooden coffin. The slaps were audible from across the cemetery; by the time the coffin arrived grave side, it looked as though it had a gold inlay from all the Tridents pinned to it. This was a fitting send-off for a warrior hero."

This is an example of what our young men and women do in the service of our Nation.
Disagree or not with the war, respect and honor what these people do for our Nation, and the freedoms we enjoy. I can not thank them enough for their service.

Saving the Planet:


I have 2 ideas for making the world a better place. Simple ideas for a greener world, and a cleaner butt.

1. I fly a lot and every time I get a boarding pass they give me, the boarding pass (I guess that's needed), a ticket jacket and a baggage claim receipt. (I fly overseas, so you HAVE to check in, I cant print my own boarding pass for International travel).

Why not print the baggage receipt on the boarding pass (the part you keep) and eliminate the jacket. With all the 1000s of flights and millions of passengers, would that not save a few trees?

2. Eliminate or greatly reduce toilet paper. WHAT you SAY? Ketosis Junkie is ALL ABOUT a clean starfish. So hold on! Have you ever had a big Osama bin Laden tear out of your sphincter to scrape both sides of your cheeks on the way to the porcelain bowl?

Supposed this happens on a big important day, like a date with a super model of a really important business presentation before 1000 people. You will use LOTS of paper. I mean, no amount of paper will make you feel clean after a double cheek poop squeak. Who wants to try to be in the zone with that unclean butt hole feeling?

So we all use toilet paper (AKA bathroom tissue) every day. (assuming we poop every day). I have traveled the world and in Japan every toilet (public or private) has a built in bidet. At first I thought it was weird. I mean a stream of water shooting up and washing your backside. But after looking at it, I changed my views.

I mean I REALLY LOOKED AT IT. I was in a hotel in Tokyo, and stood in front of the bidet toilet and tried to activate the switches. There was some saftey interlock or weight switch, so I leaned on the seat with my hands, and tried the buttons. Sure enough a stream of water shot into my face. This propelled me backwards in the already too small Japanese bathroom, where I tripped over the shower threshold and fell against the shower head. This acrobatic maneuver left me with a 1 inch gash on the back of my balding head.

Needless to say, I was laughing my bloody head off so much I did not care. I had to re investigate this water jet toilet.

This device has pressure, and temperature control for the stream of water that can be directed at you. It has a back (butt) and front pee pee maker nozzle.

Being a man dedicated to science I spent about an hour, exploring the settings on said bidet toilet. What I came away with, is one can eliminate or greatly reduce the use of bathroom tissue, but utilizing such devices. This would save countless trees used to make ass wipe. But Ketoiss, what about the water? You may use a little more water, but if you dont touch your ass, you dont have to wash your hands!