Thursday, July 31, 2008

UFO's on the Dark Side of the Moon

Recent activity in the press, quoting astronauts that have been to the moon, that the government is covering up the fact that Aliens have visited the planet. Well covering up stuff like that is what governments do.

I mean what else is the government good for?

I believe it.

How else to you explain:
1. Microwave Ovens
2. Cell Phones
3. Tang
4. Lasers
5. Donald Trump's Hair

People, we are being watched, manipulated, and controlled. Here is some of the ways it is happening:
Transfats: Alien manipulation of our waste lines, and life expectancy
High Oil Prices: Alien manipulation of our pocket books
Barak Obama: Alien manipulation of our common sense

On the subject of Aliens on the moon, I have my own dark side of the moon, you don't want to see...

Dear Ketosis-Junkie

Well I received a letter from a college asking me for advice, never one to humble to admit, I don't know, I thought I would share it here.

Dear Ketosis Junkie,

How do I get my Girl Friend to go down on me?

Chubby in Cincinnati

Dear Chubby,

Thank you for your question.
The Ketosis Junkie gets a lot of such questions from all around the world, and I thought it was pertinent to answer this on the blog.

You did not supply a lot of detail, like, how long you have been dating her, and are you already doing the horizontal pelvis grind.

I assume you have been dating her more then 4 dates (Ketosis Junkie rule number one, is date 4, your on the floor, against the wall, or hanging from a tree) so I assume this has been accomplished. The exceptions to rule 4 is you may be a pimply assed 17 year old and your dating your High School Creative Writing Teacher, who at 24 has only giving guys hand jobs while not looking.

Several reasons why your lady has not made like a Popsicle with your ball and tackle.

1. She may be greatly offended by the idea
2. Hygiene (you might have a stinky third pinkie)
3. She may not know how and be embarrassed
4. She may want you to yodel in the gully first
5. She may fear you are to large for her little mouth (Ketosis has run into this)
6. What does she do with the white stuff?

Most of these things can be overcome.

Tequila is often the answer. I know from countless experience, tequila has gotten my pole in the mouths of a lot of farmers daughters, nuns and other virginal holdouts. Tequila has overcome religious, moral, hygienic objections, more then any other method.

But a good rule of thumb is:
1. Be Clean, and clean up.
If you look like a Sasquatch below the navel, today's women, (21st Century) expect a trim, bush. I mean most guys like myself want a trim, landing pad for their soul patch when in the 70-1 position. Or at least a tight little package. I get scared of women with an Tropical Rain forest growing between their thighs, and I would expect most women think the same. So, get out the trimmers and tame you wild patch.
I little cologne can help, and shower (especially after taking a dump, poo is not a nice smell)

2. Drink Pineapple juice. I have heard this (and been told)cause I drink and eat lots of Pineapple, that it makes the man milk taste sweet. So sweet that I had a young lady from Western Europe insist on Ketosis Juice for breakfast, everyday. After a few months I felt like a damn cow.

3. Go down to get downtown. Lapping a labia is always a good start
4. Throw in a skin flick, it gets things going. (I personally never get past the opening credits or previews, but hey, I just am always good to go).

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Sichuan School Worker Punished for Quake Photos

Yeah, the man posted photos of the earthquake on the internet. No trial, he gets sent to 1 year re-education camp. WOW. Just like Mao's days.

A Chinese teacher has been detained for posting images on the internet of schools that collapsed in the Sichuan earthquake, a rights group has said.

Human Rights in China said Liu Shaokun had been ordered to serve a year of "re-education through labor".

Mr Liu was detained for "disseminating rumors and destroying social order", the group said.

The 12 May quake killed nearly 70,000 people. Many of those who died were children whose schools collapsed.

The poor condition of the school buildings has become a sensitive political issue for the government, and grieving parents have staged numerous protests demanding an inquiry.

Many have accused local officials of colluding with builders to allow them to get away with cheap and unsafe practices.

"Instead of investigating and pursuing accountability for shoddy and dangerous school buildings, the authorities are resorting to re-education through labor to silence and lock up concerned citizens like teacher Liu Shaokun and others," said Human Rights in China Executive Director Sharon Hom.

No trial

According to Human Rights in China, Mr Liu's wife was informed by police last week that the teacher, from Guanghan Middle School in Deyang city, had been sent to a labor camp.

The "re-education through labor" system allows police to incarcerate a crime suspect for up to four years without the need for a criminal trial or a formal charge.

The system, in place since 1957, has been widely criticized by the UN and other organizations.

No Blacks, Mongolians Allowed At Beijing Bars:

From a Blog: Beijing Boyce here is the URL

Beijing authorities are secretly planning to ban black people and others it considers social undesirables from entering the city’s bars during the Olympic Games, a move that would contradict the official slogan, “One World, One Dream”.

Bar owners near the Workers’ Stadium in central Beijing say they have been forced by Public Security Bureau officials to sign pledges agreeing not to let black people enter their premises….

Security officials are targeting Sanlitun, which Olympic organisers expect to be a key destination for foreign tourists looking for a party during the Games.

The pledges that Sanlitun bar owners had been instructed to sign agreed to stop a variety of activities in their establishments, including dancing and serving customers with black skin, they said.

Ketosis Junkie says "It's a storm brewing, it's going to be a storm that will rattle the first part of the 21st Century". Get Ready folks. THERE WILL BE BLOOD!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Olympics in China

After months of promising the Internet would be uncensored for journalists during the Beijing Olympics, the International Olympic Committee said that many Internet sites would be blocked under controls applied by China's Communist government.

We see that China, refuses to comply with the principals of free speach. Wait for the first Olympian to pull out a Dali Lama Shirt, or Tibet Flag, and then we will see.

The Ketosis Junkie has spent countless hours in China, and I am hoping there is plenty of protests, plenty of atheletes that show some solidarity for Tibet and for human rights.

I used to think the Olympics were not political, Athletes were athletes and not statesman. But your representing your country, your a statesman, not an athlete on the international front. Like it or not, your an ambassador, for your country when on the international stage. If you can't respect that, then don't wear your nations colors.

This Olympics, is political. It is important and it SHOULD be a disaster for China.
China executes between 1000-5000 people / year! This is one reason the Ketosis Junkie is opposed NOW to capital punishment. Once you give a government power to decided life and death, you can't take it away, and they can easily extend that power to other crimes besides murder. It only takes adding "Treason" to the list of capital punishment, then anyone who opposes the government on things like civil rights can be killed.

Olypmics In China

The Olympics are coming, to a place that oppresses human rights, puts companies out of buisness and is a virtual police state. I am speaking of course of China, but not China in general, just China preparing for the Olympics.

Factories are shut down, business closed, cars are banned from the streets, just to make the air cleaner for the Olympics. Can you imagine ANY free nation that would do such things. Imagine you have a small restaurant near the sports stadium. For 1 month prior and during the Olympics the government forces you to close. No compensation, no Olympic business, nothing. Your shut down. Same for factories, cab drivers, everyone, gets fucked. That's China.

How could the Olympic organization allow such plain old fucking of people. Easy. The Olympics are about Money. China lined the pockets of the selection committee, as this was so important for them to establish China as a developed nation.

Last time, I said Fear Obama, well fear China.

The Olympic Motto is "Citius, Altius, Fortius", a Latin phrase meaning "Swifter, Higher, Stronger" the Olympic Creed:

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well."

Olympism - What is it?

Ancient Olympism
Olympism has its roots in the beliefs of the ancient Greeks, who encouraged people to develop their physical, moral, intellectual, cultural and artistic qualities harmoniously. This meant taking part in a blend of sport, art, educational and cultural activities. This philosophy was celebrated through the Olympic Games, a festival involving athletes, scholars and artists from many cultural fields.

Modern Olympism
Frenchman Pierre de Coubertin who in 1894 established the Olympic Movement, is recognized as the father of modern Olympism. He modernized ancient Greek ideals and launched them to the rest of the world through the staging of a modern Olympic Games. Today, the festival celebrates the ideals which remain at the heart of Olympism. By blending sport with culture and education, Olympism promotes a way of life based on:

* The balanced development of the body, will and mind
* The joy found in effort
* The educational value of being a good role model
* Respect for universal ethics including tolerance, generosity, unity, friendship, non-discrimination and respect for others.

Goal of Olympism
Olympism uses sport to promote the balanced development of people as an essential step in building a peaceful society that places a high value on human dignity.

Based upon the above, how can we allow the Olympics to be in China?

Also do not forget about Sudan, that glowing little place where Genocide is taking place.

China buys as much as 70 percent of Sudan's oil and has $3 million invested in the Sudanese energy sector. China also recently canceled $100 million in Sudanese debt and supplied at least $24 million in arms and $57 million in aircraft equipment and parts.

"China is the Sudan’s biggest economic ally and trading partner including arms and has repeatedly impeded efforts by the United Nations to take action on Darfur."


Friday, July 25, 2008

Fear the Future, Fear Obama

Obama scares me, not because I am white, for crying out loud. He frightens me because I see dark days ahead. A man who says to Latinos America needs to learn Spanish. A man who says he is ashamed that Americans only speak English.

WTF? English is the international Language. It is the Official Language of the United States! If you come here and work, speak it! I have traveled extensively, I mean extensively, to 4 continents, and guess what? Everywhere I go, English gets me buy. The signs are also in English as well. Even Backfuckingwards China, Signs in English as well. Indofuckingnesia, Signs in English as well. English is the most commonly spoken language next to Chinese (only due to China has 1.4billion people, and they breed like rabbits. (more on population control at a later date). Point is the FUCKING WORLD speaks English Barak-dick.

Perhaps the recently Freshman Senator might have considered this if he had any experience overseas.

The Germans love him, sure, because he is NOT BUSH. Well I believe they would love Hilary because she has a Bush. It would not matter who went overseas, the Demo-Cant's could have sent Skippy the Retard and they (the Germans) would have showed up in droves, crying about a new fucking day. Because the world (especially the people in Germany who hate war, (remember the Austrian Corporal thing and the Kaiser)want someone on the trigger who is opposed to war. Europeans are peace-niks. That's ok, 1/2 of me is too. But 1/2 of everyone is opposed to war. But when the trains blow up, or the buildings fall down, we all want our pound of flesh in retribution.
(Speaking of pound of flesh, next week, I got a few pounds of female flesh I will be showing off).

Well the War Monger Hippy Hawk, believe we need to rage war, and follow it up by waging peace. War, Peace and War again. It is what humans do.

So Obama is going to make Spanish a national Language, as well as Ebonics, and Hip-hop the National Anthem. He will not drill offshore and he will make Bio-Fuels the way he starves America to death. The man scares me, and he should scare you.
He won't admit the surge helped, he won't admit he made a mistake.

Thanks for all your hate mail, God Bless haters and lovers alike. This blog is intended to make you think. It's OK to disagree, but Hate? Well welcome to my fan club...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Obama, Osama and Yo Mama

So, the New Yorker satirizes Obama and the Right wing approach that he is really Muslim, anti American and his wife is a militant.

People are up in arms about it.

Here is something also to be up in arms about.


WTF? Is the Ketosis Junkie Crazy? Is he racist? Is he a member of the KKK?


We are bending ourselves around free speech. Instead of ploughing into it.
If I use the word Nigger, I am considered hateful, insensitive and racist. If a black man uses it, it's OK, because he was the one subjected to it.

I agree the word is offensive, when used in a derogatory term. But that don't mean it is not a word. It also don't mean I can't use it.

My point is simple. Words are words and freedom of speech is our right. I can say any word I want to say, but the combination, and the use are what can get us into trouble.

I am not in favor of making the word unlawful. But we hanged Duane "Dog" Chapman for using "nigger" on a private conversation with his family that his own son taped and sold to the Enquirer. The man's life collapsed around him, not for a slip but for being who he was. Even explaining what he was talking about. We are too fucking sensitive over the use of the word.

Here is a transcript (courtesy wikipedia) of what got him into trouble.

Audiotape of Chapman using racial slur
“Duane "Dog" Chapman: I don't care if she's a Mexican, a whore or whatever. It's not because she's black, it's because we use the word nigger sometimes here. I'm not gonna take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for for 30 years because some fucking nigger heard us say nigger and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine. Our career is over! I'm not taking that chance at all! Never in life! Never! Never! If Lyssa [Dog's daughter] was dating a nigger, we would all say 'fuck you!' And you know that. If Lyssa brought a black guy home, ya da da... it's not that they're black, it's none of that. It's that we use the word nigger. We don't mean you fucking scum nigger without a soul. We don't mean that shit. But America would think we mean that. And we're not taking a chance on losing everything we got over a racial slur because our son goes with a girl like that. I can't do that, Tucker. You can't expect Gary, Bonnie, Cecily, all them young kids to [garbled] because 'I'm in love for 7 months' - fuck that! So, I'll help you get another job but you cannot work here unless you break up with her and she's out of your life. I can't handle that shit. I got 'em in the parking lot trying to record us. I got that girl saying she's gonna wear a recorder...

I would like to scream it and every word we get bent out of shape over every day until we stop being shocked by hearing it.

It is only a simple combination of vowels and constants that make us shocked.

Regarding Obama, if your offended by the cartoon, Perhaps you should join the Muslim people offended by the Mohamed cartoons. Your ths same in my book.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


SEMICON West, the Semiconductor Event in America, par supreme!
In the good old days it was a party. lots and lots of promises and vows were broken at said event. It now is more PC and all the less for it.

I myself years ago slipped into reckless abandon running around the hospitality suites less then fully gowned. ah the good old days...

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Middle Age

Well it is officially my life as a middle aged man, I realized I am not going to be drafted by the NFL, I won’t be discovered by Playgirl or any movie producers, won’t be asked to be a backup singer by Mick Jagger.

I won’t qualify for NASA and will not face any major alien invasions.

But I have to look forward to, longer bowl movements, more time at the Doctor, prescriptions all the time, and a membership in the AARP!

I will not stop listening to the Boomtown rats, Sex Pistols, the Replacements and Frank Sinatra. I will play Nashville Pussy from time to time, to freak out my neighbors, and simply put will refuse to age gracefully.

Not to say I won’t do that with a smile on my face and be polite about it.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Helping to Help

OK, I believe in helping people when they need it, period. If you look at a situation that needs doing, you do it. Not for thanks, not for feeling better, not for a place in heaven or for reincarnation. FUCK ALL THAT SHIT. I believe you help cause the situation before you needs attention, period. You mother fucking do it!

Fuck Saint Peter, fuck Nirvana and the spinning wheel of re-incarnation. I want to be judged not on what I did for others, but weather or not God thinks I would be a cool enough guy to sit around and have a few beers or ambrosia with, and talk about sports, pussy, war, mankind aliens or the middle east.

But if it's heaven where I go, I hope to God they are pouring decent, well made beer. Cause if Anheuser-Busch got the contract for heaven, I will be checking out the micro-brews served in the south, if you know what I mean, cause eternity of fuck ass beer is more then I can handle.

Really though, I believe you help people out, for the sake of helping them out, not because it makes you feel better, or helps get you for reincarnation point or for getting on the good side of God. I feel so giulty when I help people out, and get rewarded, or thanked to the extreme. I did not do it for the thanks, or appreciation. I hate that shit. I am not humble either, I am the cockiest most arrogant piece o work I know.

I don't want to be in front of St. Peter and have him list out all the sleazy women I fucked, all the times I masturbated in one day (20, I swear by that number), all the times I blew my nose into the bed sheet, or wiped my ass with bathroom towels. With my only come back, as:
I opened the door for people, I helped a few hot girls change their tires, I didn't fuck the 18 year old girl in Create on vacation from Texas who thought I was cute, simply to have deflowered another virgin. (yes I did not, but really because I was too tired to fuck, not because I was bastion of nobility. Really I was too tired to deal with the lies that would have ensued the next day.) Or my defense of I never stopped loving my first love. Or to state all the other good crap I did. I did not do it to go to heaven. Rather I did it because my daddy said, put your self in the shoe of the man you help in a tough situation.

Man I have been in tough situations. I guess that empathy is what makes me do shit. Or, I just like to be doing something. This of course is provided no less then virginal sluts need their vagina's plowed.

Regarding St. Peter...
I want him to either let me in, like Hugh Hefner would let me into the playboy mansion, because he knows the playmates need a good old rogering, that his limp dicked 70s something pecker can't accomplish the rogering at hand and I have a high tolerance for Cialis and have an eternity supply with me.

So now you know why I help out. It like the entire reason the world revolves is all about the penis and the vagina.

Here is what the country looks like around here.


Just Returned from the Harrisburg area in Pennsylvania. This place is green and beautiful.

Compared to the dry brown dusty bay area, I would take Penn any day.

But alas, I have to contend with high tech and the still impossible home prices. Green and nice. Simple quite area, where people seem to be nice to each other.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Wash Your Hands!

Want to not get sick?
Make sure your hands are clean. Also if you use that liquid gel based alcohol hand sanitizers, make sure it has 60% alcohol in it.

Here is an article from NY times on this.

Also wash your hands with soap and water, don't just use this gel crap, after the bathroom.

It is meant to kill any residual germs. I went to a persons house, they had no soap in the bathroom, but a waterless gel alcohol based sanitizer. Ok, I can kill the bacteria on my hands, but what about soap to wash off the crap on my hands after taking a shit?

I talked to several people and they thought I was nuts (normally happens). Soap does not nessisary kill bacteria, but it helps to wash it off your hands. Wash your hands and if you want to sanitize them then do so. But wash the shit off first!

My own sister was doing this,until I talked to her. Think about it, you have dead shit bacteria on your hands. Do you want that?

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I love this! The real characters of the Super Hero's comes out.

The Wonder Twins Jan and Jayna, can no longer control their incestuous lust.

Robin is admiring Wonder Womans posterior

Space Ghost and Superman are way to Envolved in the Knife Fight between Blip and Gleek.

Jan is looking like a dyke and Batman is hitting on Jace.

Gotta love this art!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

5th of July Reality Check

This is NOT Me, but it exemplifies how I feel.

We are still the greatest nation on the planet, yet we have pissed away alot of foreign good will, to many lives, too much money fighting wars that we as a nation do not have the will to win. I wish we did, but we cant win with this current mind set. No war has ever been won without the nations will to win it. From where I set, we don't have the will to win it. Too many good Americans are dieing and too many Iraqi's and Afghans are dieing. We didn't go there to kill either. Just to make the world a better place. Right?

Our economy is hurting, and we are paying too much money for fuel, and fuel is how America runs. The election wont change that because Demo-cant or Re-pubic-ican really is the same either way with a lot of arm waving, about politics. I kinda feel that the nation founded in 1776 was not what we have today.

We are in another Cold war with Russia and China that is being fought in economic terms with real live bullets also being fired.

Make way for the Olympics cause this will see the embarrassment of the Chinese government as it rolls over ANY one who tries to protest. Olympians, please win the gold and pull out your Tibet Flags! I am on a rant and a rave today, but change begins at home.

Be polite, think about your world and remember...

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy Birthday America

You know what I love?

The good ole U.S. of A. and not the US of A-holes either.

God Bless America and Happy 4th of July.

Here in the Silicon Valley I am stoked that a Good Bud has just returned from 6 months of hard pounding in Army Basic Training an Advanced Infantry Training. Here is too you and all like you you are serving your country.

Like the war or hate the war, men and women are putting up and paying the price that libery demands. The blood of tyrants and patriots must feed the tree of liberty.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

War Monger's, Hippies, Hawks Unite!

Greeting all,
This is the War Monger Hippy Hawk Blog.

This is what the name implies, a place for the duality of man, where I am speaking about the Human race, aka homo sapians. If you want non-homo sapians then please surf over to for bestiality and such.

We (people) are war like, but love the peace found between the loins of our loved ones. So celibate the blood letting and peace making of man!

Also look for our related upcoming pod casts and links to people we would like to see killed, or loved.