Sunday, December 20, 2009

Institute of Cranial Rectumitus (ICR)

From the Institute of Cranial Rectumitus (ICR)

“Cranial Rectumitus is a commonly mis-diagnosed disease that afflicts millions of people each year. Where many people are written off as being assholes, jerks or fuckwuds, they actually suffer from a medical condition.

This affliction can result in terminal asinine behavior, or the insertion or ones head in ones rectum, causing a complete termination of higher level brain activity. “


1. Denial

2. Fecal matter spewing from mouth, usually not visible, yet quite audible, sometimes olfactory in nature

3. Acting in an inappropriate manner, usually oblivious to ones position and current situation

4. Assuming one is an expert in a field, situation or condition despite their actual experience, knowledge, training or proximity to the situation

5. False Belief that they are on a higher level (in relation to God) then all other humans who have ever walked the planet. (Including Jesus, as suffers believe they are not the next coming, rather Jesus 2.0 aka the Upgraded model)


1. Pathogenic organism initiating from the brain due to gaseous build up in ones intestinal track. Such gas build up promotes an inflated sense of self worth and euphoric condition that the patient feels all others are somewhat beneath them. Such feeling is exaggerated by the build – up of intestinal gas.

2. This creates a pseudo physiological connection between the brain and anus resulting in the condition known as Cranial Rectumitus.

3. Where a very thin membrane forms connecting the brain to the rectum.


1. Application of B.S.T. applied to the base of the patients skull. This technique is commonly referred to as “Blunt Strike Technique” in the medical community, however to laymen, witch doctors, midwifes and auto mechanics it is more commonly referenced to as the “Bitch Slap Technique”. Regular and frequent application of said technique can shock the brain into coming online and cause a temporary release of intestinal gas and a separation of the rectum from the brain

2. Electroshock Therapy. Though little is known about the success of this technique, however it is a lot of fun when applying it to patients who suffer from Cranial Rectumitus (CR). Such applications result in a temporary relief to those exposed to suffers of CR.

3. Isolation, When suffering from a terminal case of CR, the only remedy is separation from the normal population. As little is understood about the contagiousness of CR, it has been demonstrated that it can be contagious.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Dog and Cat Massacre in China

I love dogs, I actually like most animals. I am not a lover of cats, but I grew to like them a little bit.

My dad, hated cats. He grew up on a farm and had wild cats that kept the rodent population at bay. But they were not domesticated and he suffered cat attacks.

My sister when we were kids got my mother to get her a cat. My dad threatened to drown said cat.

Big fight. Bottom line is, we kept the cat.

One time this cat got very ill and we spent a small fortune on getting it better. Hundreds of dollars. My dad flipped. But we paid.

A deal was struck, if the cat got sick again, we would put it down.

Well it got sick again. I was a early teen, that loved hunting, fishing and knew how to handle animals.

My dad, askes me to put down my sister's cat. I am extatic.

I get a chance to torture my older sister, who at times was a complete terror to me.

As most siblings can be.

I get the .22 and take aim, I miss...

My dad observes this and really lays into me. "Dont make the fucking thing suffer, your supposed to be doing a humane act, God damn it! If you cant do the job, I will do it!"

My sister if freaking out now, the cat has run for it's life, and I feel this is not a fun job. I had wanted to cause some pain to my sister, but now that she is sobbing, and carrying on, I feel bad. I did not think it threw. I only knew it needed to be done. I did not try to miss the cat, I took aim.

But I also did not prepare myself (prior to the first shot) at what I was about to do. Perhaps if I was thinking about my humanitarian job, I might have shot better, and got it over.

Now, with the histerics going, and the realization, that this poor sick cat, wants to live, and is running for it's life, I have empathay for it, and my sister.

I track it down to a pile of brush. The poor cat is in as deep as it can go.

It is trapped. It hisses at me, pure hatred. It knows what I am there to do. It growls and hisses at me.

I talk to it as I get my gun ready. "I'm sorry, we both don't want to be here, I will make it quick".

I aim, I take my breath, I hold, I kill. One shot, now with the grim realization I have to not miss.

It takes me 10 minutes to dig the cat out of the brush pile.

With it in my hands, I march back to the house.

My dad is there, and nods at me, I nod back. I am not celebrating the kill, like I uased to over duck or pheasant.

As I get to the porch (this is the same porch I used to use to scale and fillet fish, or skin other mamels taken from the hunt. I ask my dad, should I take the pelt?

"Pehaps Michele would like the fur as a memory".

My sisters wails from inside the house, announced she has heard her cruel younger brother's question.

My point in this blog is ALL life is precious. The Chinese way of killing animals seen in this URL is nasty.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Kirk, the myth, the man

I good friend of mine got me the kewlest piece of Kirkian Memorabilia.

A Kirk Bobble head.

Complete with Phaser and Black Power Fist!

Move his head and he says;

"Space the Final Frontier"
"I am a solider, not a diplomat"
"This is Captain James Kirk of the Starship Enterprise>
"Spock, Try licking me between my balls and my asshole"
"Bones, the Green girl gave me space crabs"
"Sulu, you little Jap Fag, put a shirt on, when your on the bridge"

Thursday, September 10, 2009

What up in Life?

You Suck, no you really, really do suck. I mean we all do.

Get over it...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Boycott Ben & Jerry's

Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream renamed the flavor Chubby Hubby to Hubby Hubby, in support of Vermont and Gay Marriage...

Bummer, I could not put anything called Hubby Hubby in my mouth...

It's not about Gay rights, it's about what Marriage is all about.

Man / Women, Penis&Vagina=baby reproduction.
Penis&Penis=no baby
Penis&Ass=bloody cum covered turds (no baby)
Vagina&Vagina= no baby and wet sheets.
Vagina&dildo=stinky plastic

I am not against gay people having the SAME rights as everyone else. If you love someone, I dont care. You should have the same access, the same care and end of life arrangments as everyone!

But Marriage is between a man and women, Domestic Partnership is between two people.

Your not as cool as this

all governments are liars and murderers

"'all governments are liars and murderers" so said Bill Hicks,

Anyway, he is right, ALL Governments, lie, cheat, steal, and America is the top dog, the dog that eats it's own, spits out the bones and gets the others to chear about it.

There has never been a GOOD American Government, there never will be.

I do not mean there are not good men & women in the government, but the whole thing is a cancer. Never was it good, never was it right. It was founded on ideals, but could never live up to them.

Just like marriage, it starts out full of excitement, full of promise and sexually charged, only to end either in divorce or quite denial that you would like to be fucking another pussy or cock...

Obama is no different, no bigger a villain, the Bush/Cheney, Lincoln / Hamlin Kennedy / Johnson.

They all lied, and killed our citizens and foreign citizens.

Obama is continuing to attach sovereign nations (Pakistan) on the mythical war on an idea.

War's on ideas all fail.

War on Drugs (did it help?) It failed.

War on Terror it already has failed!

How about a war on wars? This may work.

The America I fell in love with is gone, actually it never existed, just like falling in love with a person.

It is the over estimation of a sex object. Only I did not fuck America, America fucked my ideas.

My ideal America only exists in my head, a nation of fairness, of freedom, of justice and equal opportunity. A nation interested in being for the people, governed by the people. I do not believe there is anyone in Government that is like me, or the people I know.

Obama never worked a roll up your sleeves job. Bush did not, few of our presidents did. Few politicians did.

Being a Lawyer does not count in my book. Lawyers are not real people in my book. they get in the way of justice by using the Law. The two things are not the same, they are meant to be close, but law and justice is seldom achieving the same ends.

When I retire, I will go far from here, I will continue to love America, and wish her the best, but I will do so from afar...

Friday, August 28, 2009

ok, WTF is going on?

Ok, you look at this picture and you see a kinda cute amputee, (WTF you say, Ketosis likes amputee's?, No, but I am sure at some point, she would like to have a meat dagger stab her in the birthing channel, I mean come-on, Amputees need love, lust and meat dagger stabbing!).

She (the amputee) has a kewl shirt on that says I'm only in it for the parking. kinda making fun of the handicapped thing. It works. But what is crazy is the horse in the ground?

WTF right?

Who knows about this?

Monday, August 10, 2009


Ok, your probably asking yourself..."Ketosis, this picture scares me, where are you going with it?"

I, the Ketosis Junkie am no where near this picture, but I feel it important to let you America know that the world is filled with scary people. Very Scary people, and you have to know it. These people could be your neighbors, your boss, your Sunday school teacher, meter man. They could like in your appartment building.

So stay vigilant America, keep spying on your neighbors, your friends, report any weirdness if you see it. If they watch to much CNBC, FOX or CNN, if they go to church every Sunday, if they wear burkas or dont wear them. If they simply don't fit the fine example of the American family so correctly depicted in "Married with Children".

Good Night and Good Fuck

Saturday, August 8, 2009

WTF? Over

WTF discribes this fucking picture.

I looks like a beaver with a huge fucking pink ass. But it is an inflatable ride?

WTF, would you let your kids play in a pretend asshole?

Ketosis is no saint but this is fucking NOT right!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Happy "Little Boy Day"

First, Ketosis is NOT a pedophile...

today it he anniversary of the Famous Flight of the Enola Gay.

On 5 August 1945, during preparation for the first atomic mission, pilot Colonel Paul Tibbets who assumed command of the aircraft, renamed the B-29 after his mother, Enola Gay Tibbets (1893–1983), who had been named for the heroine of a novel. According to Gordon Thomas and Max Morgan-Witts,[4] regularly assigned aircraft commander Robert Lewis was unhappy to be displaced by Tibbets for this important mission, and became furious when he arrived at the aircraft on the morning of 6 August to see it painted with the now-famous nose art. Tibbets himself, interviewed on Tinian later that day by war correspondents, confessed that he was a bit embarrassed of having attached his mother's name to such a fateful mission.

The release at 08:15 (Hiroshima time) went as planned, and the gravity bomb known as "Little Boy", a gun-type fission weapon with 60 kilograms (130 lb) of uranium-235, took 57 seconds to fall from the aircraft to the predetermined detonation height about 600 metres (2,000 ft) above the city. Due to crosswind, it missed the aiming point, the Aioi Bridge, by almost 800 feet (240 m) and detonated directly over Shima Surgical Clinic.[22] It created a blast equivalent to about 13 kilotons of TNT. (The U-235 weapon was considered very inefficient, with only 1.38% of its material fissioning.)[23] The radius of total destruction was about one mile (1.6 km), with resulting fires across 4.4 square miles (11 km2).[24] Americans estimated that 4.7 square miles (12 km2) of the city were destroyed. Japanese officials determined that 69% of Hiroshima's buildings were destroyed and another 6–7% damaged.[5]

70,000–80,000 people, or some 30%[25] of the population of Hiroshima were killed immediately, and another 70,000 injured.[26] Over 90% of the doctors and 93% of the nurses in Hiroshima were killed or injured; most had been in the downtown area which had been greatly damaged.[27]

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Henry Kissinger Motherfucker

Here is an Assholes Asshole. I mean that he did what was needed at the needest times.

He is not Good or Bad, he just is. But he is still alive. For 5 more days...

He is the guy who did it all.
Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. He served as National Security Advisor and later concurrently as Secretary of State in the Nixon Administration. Kissinger was the "most frequent visitor" to the George W. Bush White House as an unofficial political adviser on Israel and the Middle East—including the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

Famous Quotes:
"(Soldiers are) dumb, stupid animals to be used as pawns for foreign policy."

"Most foreign policies that history has marked highly, in whatever country, have been originated by leaders who were opposed by experts."

"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer"

"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist because of the irresponsibility of its own people. The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves"

"Even a paranoid has some real enemies"

"I watched myself on German television, so that I could finally speak without an accent. And I heard myself speaking with a Swedish accent!"

"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac"

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy"

Monday, July 27, 2009

Afronaught: Guion S. Bluford, Jr.

Blacks in space? Afronaught or just plan colored man in space.

No, I am not racist, I am a humorist.

August 30, 1983 the first American Black man(I hate the terms African-American, as being a white person, I am not a European-American, I am a American - White, Always, put American first, not someplace your not connected with in any form).

Guion S. Bluford, Jr.was the first American Black man in space. About time. Obama is the first American Black President.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Star Wars is...UGLY!

I LOVE Star Wars, I mean, I really, really like Star Wars Episode 4-5-6. It was my reason for being a squirrel-like 12 year old. I spend years choking my chicken to the Bun Haired Image of Princess Leia, Then the Princess Leia slave girl, then to the double team of the twins... never mind.

Anyway Ketosis is happy to post said picture of:
Left To Right,
Harrison Ford, David Prowse, Peter Mayhew, Carrie Fisher, Kenny Baker, Mark Hamill

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Penis Museum, for real

It exists, but only in Iceland. That cold cock shriveling near arctic country, is the the place to experience the cock museum, or Icelandic Phallological Museum.

Located in Húsavík, Iceland (formerly in Reykjavík) the museum is devoted to phallology (the science of the cock). As of July 2006, the museum houses 245 specimens displayed like hunting trophies, embalmed in formaldehyde, or dried in display cases. The museum attempts to collect penis specimens from every mammal in Iceland, including several species that are endangered or currently extinct in Icelandic waters.

Sigurður Hjartarson, a former teacher of history at an institute in Reykjavík, is the founder (since 1974, when he was 63 years old) and current director of the museum, which also exhibits a few specimens from mammals not living in Iceland, as well as folkloric specimens (alleged elves, trolls, sea monsters, etc.) and penis-themed art.

Although the museum does not yet have a Homo sapiens specimen, in the interest of advancing phallological knowledge, a patron (Páll Arason, born in 1915 and currently 94 years old) has donated, presumably posthumously, an affidavit for his penis.

So this guy is a Penis Expert, or a Cockert, or a Leader in the Field with Cock.

I knew this girl, from the south, Her Mouth, and Vagina could be on the wall. She mastered the pecker for sure.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Is your Dad Weird?

My Pops was a hardworking hero, but your dad? Was he like this guy? All buisness but once left to his own devices, goes all Elf?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Archie is getting married, but is it a cover up?

Archie Andrews is getting married. Yes that lovable Red Headed Kid from Riverdale High, who hung out with Jughead, Moose, Reggie and was constantly getting Betty and Veronica to swap his man juice.

Is getting married to Veronica. Why? Because her Daddy is rich and he wants to cover up his gay life style.

He was bi, but now he prefers guys!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Some Wierd Shit

Poop for health, poop for your country, poop for your God! Just Poop! The Economy got you down, well just shit it out. Shit it now, and shit it loud!

Today we have some more wierd and wacko donald duck rides that are just fucked up!

Check them out in the section to the right.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Resistance to tyrants is obedience to God

Thomas Jefferson was an Asshole!

Sure he was a founding father, but he back stabbed, and fucked over his friends.

He was in a sense, a Great American, in the fact he was an asshole.

Pretty much all great men are assholes. It comes with the territory.

"Resistance to tyrants is obedience to God"

America it is time to resist the tyrants that run this country, it is time to be assholes!

Bush, Obama, all the same.

There is no differance they all are over paid, out for themselves, and not out for the American people!

A government of the people, by the people, for the people is what we want.

Obama, Bush are not of the people or for the people.

Time to unit, Rebellion must come!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Product Endorsement

This is a Product Endorsement of the Highest Degree:

I Hong Kong Company has created a product for feminine Hygiene like no other...

"My Inside Cleaner"

It is a quick disconect shower / bidet head attachemnt with a insertable tube for...
well, Ketosis is a little embaresed to write about it..

for washing out a women's insides...

Product bullets like:

"Wait Impatiently for Women"

"Always Clean Refresh Pure"
-When Menstruate Come
-When you carry Leukorrhoea
-After Workout
-As a women of etiquette
-When Stinks

I could not make this up, click on picture for a link to the add.

I had no idea what Leukorrhoea was, but it is real, and real scary.

Here is the article from Wikipedia
"Leukorrhea (US) or Leukorrhoea (Commonwealth) is a medical term that denotes a thick, whitish vaginal discharge."

I dont know my way around the Vagina, as well as I thought, i kinda know what to put in there, and how to stimulate the little man in the boat, but I think I know too much now. I dont want to know any more. Ketoisis is a little sick, and threw up in his mouth...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Conditions are right for the end of days

OK, I am going out on a limb here, but the world economic problems, the hightend level of global terrorism, the democrats in office, now with global weather at least in the US suddenly cooler, the "Swine Flu" is ripe to claim millions of lives.

If the flu hits the economy will surely tank even further...

Remember SARS, no one was on the airplanes. The airlines can't afford more losses...

The democrats want to take our weapons, they want a bigger government, this was the situation handed to them by the republicans. It is an orchestrated attack on the people of the earth by the One World Order, bent on depopulation. committed to wiping the plant clean of the unproductive mindless consumers. The ideal, manageable population of the human race is 500,000,000 people.

The rulling class will be white, this flu targets people of color.

It will run wild for a bit die down then spring back up, maybe in weeks, maybe years

I will say this virus is engineered, by man.

Here is some facts:
* The World Health Organization has confirmed at least some of the cases are a never-before-seen strain of influenza A virus, carrying the designation H1N1.

* Although it's called swine flu, this new strain is not infecting pigs and has never been seen in pigs. The threat is person to person transmission.

* It is genetically different from the fully human H1N1 seasonal influenza virus that has been circulating globally for the past few years. The new flu virus contains DNA typical to avian, swine and human viruses, including elements from European and Asian swine viruses.
check it out.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Swine Flu is THE epidemic, forget about Bird Flu this is the stuff of the scary movies.

In March and April 2009, over 1,000 cases of swine flu in humans were detected in Mexico and the southwestern United States, causing more than 60 deaths in Mexico.[18] Following a series of reports of isolated cases of swine flu, the first announcement of the outbreak in Mexico was documented on April 23. Some of the cases have been confirmed by the World Health Organization to be due to a new genetic strain of H1N1. The new strain has been confirmed in 16 of the deaths and 44 others are being tested as of 24 April 2009. The Mexican fatalities are mainly young adults, a hallmark of pandemic flu.

The current vaccine against the seasonal influenza strain H1N1 is thought to be unlikely to provide protection.[25] Anne Schuchat, director of CDC's National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, said that the United States cases were found to be made up of genetic elements from four different flu viruses—North American swine influenza, North American avian influenza, human influenza A virus subtype H1N1, and swine influenza virus typically found in Asia and Europe. For two cases a complete genome sequence had been obtained. She said that the virus was resistant to amantadine and rimantadine, but susceptible to oseltamivir (Tamiflu) and zanamivir (Relenza).

The new strain appears to be a recombinant between two older strains. Preliminary genetic characterization found that the hemagglutinin (HA) gene was similar to that of swine flu viruses present in U.S. pigs since 1999, but the neuraminidase (NA) and matrix protein (M) genes resembled versions present in European swine flu isolates. Viruses with this genetic makeup had not previously been found to be circulating in humans or pigs, but there is no formal national surveillance system to determine what viruses are circulating in pigs in the U.S.

Why is this a BIG DEAL!

In the spring of 1918, swine influenza mutated into a severe human form in just a few months. Some of the victims became severely ill and died, while the rest suffered from mild symptoms. In the US, the first deaths were recorded among sailors in Boston in August 1918, and the epidemic quickly spread to all parts of the country. Between the autumn of 1918 and the spring of 1919, 548,452 people died of this flu in the US. In the UK, France and Germany, around 600,000 people died. Worldwide, the number of casualties was between 20 and 50 million, or maybe more. The puzzling fact is that the epidemic erupted almost simultaneously at distant locations, therefore it is likely that the virus was incubated in people with only mild symptoms or no symptoms at all. Other anomalous facts are that the disease attacked people in their twenties and thirties, thought to have strong immune systems, and most of the infections were lethal. At the military prison at Deer Island (Massachusetts) in Boston Harbor there was an attempt to develop a vaccine during the 1918 outbreak.

WHAT do You Do?

1. Good Hygiene, Wash your hands, soap and water works better then hand sanitizers!
2. Stay away from large crowds!
3. Tamiflu Anti-Virus works, but it does not work unless you have the virus.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Do you look at your shit, before you flush?

I spoke to a young lady, who in her arrogance / innocence said she never looked at her own feces.

"What!?" Ketosis replied, it is a natural thing to do, and also it is part of judging your health.

Silly Kunt retored "what can you tell about your health by looking at your shit?"

"HA, well first if there is gobs and gobs of blood, you might judge you have a torn sphincter or hemeroids, second if its green or yellow or has swimming worms might be an indication of something is wrong." Retored your's truly AKA Ketosis Junkie.

Anyway, poop is not Play-do, so don't make sculptures out of it, or use it as filling for a pudding pie...

Check out for more fun poop facts, or scatfacts...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Steven Segal Verses Vampires

Steven Seagal...Steven FUCKING Seagal, is the toughest, baddest, ass kicker around. Ok, ok, add to that fattest, oldest and cockiest...

He has saved the president, the navy, the world, and brought justice to New York, LA. Tracked down serial killers, escaped from prison, and now in the face of a vampire virus running amok, he will face off against...Vampires, wielding shotgun, samurai sword and quoting the Dali Lama.

The best part of this, the film "Against the Dark" is available NOW on DVD.

What a second Ketosis, how did I miss this movie at the Ciniplex? The trailers on TV? The interview with him on Leno or Conan.

Steven Seagal is too fucking cool for all that shit. Too Fucking bad ass to listen to Leno, or do trailers. Get this DVD today or he will kick your ass.

oh, after you get it, can you lend it to me?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Cat Shit One: Fucking Awesome


this is the most awesome thing on the net. Look to the right for the You Tube Video.

Bunnies can be bad...Very bad.

Life is a bitch, then you catch her in bed with your best friend, father and the girl you had a crush on in high school. It's your worst night-mare. Marry early, have puppies, divorce, get it out of your system, become a grumpy old man and die.

Monday, March 16, 2009

He Kexin Bitch is a Fucking 12 Year Old

Chinese Athletes Dope! If Doping is extended to age manipulation they dope.

the country is full of unethical mother fuckers.

Here is the Latest news.
Thousands of Chinese athletes fake their ages.

Bone tests on teenage Chinese athletes have shown that thousands had faked their age, often in order to keep competing in junior events.
A study in the southern province of Guangdong found one in five had lied, with some discovered to be seven years older than their registered age.
For talented young people from poorer areas in China, sports tournaments can offer a chance to make a better life.
Some commentators say all that is needed is more rigorous checks.
'Widespread practice'
The tests were carried out on teenage athletes registered with sports academies in Guangdong.
The youths were X-rayed to try to determine their real age.
The province's governing body found more than 3,000 who had lied about how old they were - about a fifth of those tested.
It is an embarrassment for China which denied allegations during last year's Olympics that its athletes, in particular its gymnasts, had not been honest about how old they were.
At last year's Olympics in Beijing, some of China's gold-winning gymnasts were alleged to be below the minimum age of 16.
However, after an inquiry, the sport's governing body cleared them of any wrongdoing.
At the weekend, it emerged that a badminton player who had won a provincial title as a 14-year-old had now admitted to being 17 at the time of the contest.

I think China should be suspended from ALL International Athletic Competitions until they all die or they actually start to be honest. Which ever comes first.

I think they will all die first...

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Mugabe Motherfucker

Of all the motherfuckers out there, Robert Mugabe takes the cake.

Here he is now munching on cake at his lavish $250,000 birthday party!
"mmmm that's good cake" a While my people suffer and I have ASSFUCKED this country into oblivion.

The birthday celebrations come as Zimbabwe struggles with the world's highest inflation, food shortages and a cholera epidemic which the World Health Organisation says has killed 3,894 people since August last year.

There have been more than 84,000 reported cases, says the WHO.
More than half the population is believed to need food aid, while just 10% of adults have a regular job.

Mugabe has reduced farm production by half since 2000, mostly due to his take over of "White Owned farms".

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has vowed to continue seizing land from white farmers after a spate of "farm invasions" over the past month.
Speaking at a rally to celebrate his 85th birthday, he also promised to push for majority Zimbabwean ownership of companies operating in the country.
Mugabe supporters raised $250,000 (£176,000) for a lavish birthday party in Chinhoyi, north-west of Harare.
Zimbabwe asked African states for $2bn (£1.4bn) in economic aid just days ago.

Morgan Tsvangirai, the new prime minister and former opposition leader, did not attend the celebrations despite earlier indications that he might.
Mr Mugabe's spokesman, George Charamba, told Reuters news agency he had opted out of the event after realising it had been organised by the president's Zanu-PF party.
"People should not read this as a snub - he excused himself," Mr Charamba said.
Mr Mugabe turned 85 on 21 February but his party is being held a week later.
SADC 'nonsense'
Mr Mugabe told the rally in Chinhoyi there would be "no going back" on planned and already executed seizures of land owned by white farmers.

The Southern African Development Community (SADC) tribunal in Namibia had no right to intervene on the farmers' behalf, he said.
"Farms will not be returned back to former farmers," he told the audience.
"Some farmers went to the SADC... but that's nonsense, absolute nonsense, no-one will follow that.
"We have courts here in this country, that can determine the rights of people. Our land issues are not subject to the SADC tribunal."
In November, the tribunal ruled that Zimbabwe's plans to seize dozens of white-owned farms were illegal under international rule and should be halted immediately.
Zimbabwe's Commercial Farmers Union says that, in the past month, operations at about 150 farms have been disrupted. Some farmers have been evicted.
Mr Mugabe said the new government would continue to push for a majority stake in companies operating in Zimbabwe.
"We would want to see a greater participation of our people in them, not less than 51%, in certain companies we would have designated," he said.
Mr Mugabe also urged his supporters to accept the new power-sharing government but his latest message on land reform is a sign that he is still firmly in control, BBC Southern Africa correspondent Peter Biles reports from Johannesburg.

This week, Mr Tsvangirai's Movement for Democratic Change said the government must intervene to stop farm disruptions, in order to enhance productivity.
Economic woes

Mr Tsvangirai - who was sworn in two weeks ago in a unity government with Mr Mugabe ending months of political deadlock - has said it will cost as much as $5bn to fix Zimbabwe's economy.
The country has asked for $2bn in emergency aid to revive public services and the business sector.
Following a two-day meeting of regional ministers in Cape Town, South Africa, members of the Southern African Development Community (SADC) and the African Union pledged to "pursue measures in support of Zimbabwe's economic recovery programme".
But Western donors have said they are waiting for proof that the unity government is really working before sending in funds.

Friday, February 27, 2009

China Blasts the US on Human Rights

Yeah Right.

China the bastion of freedom. Where the Catholic Church is not aligned with the Vatican, Where the Tibetan Buddhist cant recognize the Dali Lama, where complaining too much you get sent to prison. Where the government forces you to close your business because of the Olympics.

They blast the US on our rights.

Well sure we have murders, crime, but that is not an issue with the Goverment. Rather an issue with stupid people, poverty and hip hop. Yes Hip hop is a promoter of crime. I believe it dulls the brain on a jungle level, making you stupid, dark and foreboding.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Long live the Ramones!

I used to get up every morning and listen to 3-4 Ramones songs to get me up and ready for the day. It was better then coffee.

I miss them, no one comes close these days to rocking like they did.

I saw them 2 times at First Avenue in Minneapolis the sets were all of like 1 hour maximum.

They walked on stage, Joey walks up to the microphone "Hi were the Ramones" and they start playing, just like that.

One song finishes. The next one starts no more then 2 seconds after the previous.

No big production. Just Rock n Roll.

Moss Pit, dancing crazy, kicking ass, covered in sweat and a little blood, that funky funk was coursing through air. A mixture of sweat, blood, smoke, urine, vagina flow and organic moss.

It reaked but you didn't choke on it, you thrived on it, the youthfulness of your aggression, left dripping in splots on the floor. Your best intentions oozing out of you like puss from a wound, your glad it was freed, but horrified at it's sight.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Organ theft, more common then you think

I thought it an urban legend. I thought it stupid. I was wrong.

The following article from the ABC News highlights just how wrong I am.

GURGAON, India, Feb. 1, 2008

As Mohammad Salim Khan gained consciousness, he found himself in an unfamiliar house with a stranger in front of him wearing a surgical mask and gloves.

"What's happened to me?" Khan (through an interpreter) said he asked the man, because he could not move his limbs.

"Your kidney has been removed," the man said.

"How will I live?" Khan asked, shocked at the information.

Khan, 33, said that he was taken to the three-story house where the illegal surgery took place by men who offered him construction work. Khan explained all of this while lying in a bed in the isolation ward of the Gurgaon Civil Hospital, located on the outskirts of Delhi.

His extreme story is similar to those of the two men in the beds on either side of him -- Shakil Ahmed, 28, and Naseem Mohammad, 25 -- the same men who were in the room with him when he woke up from his surgery.

messed up shit!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Australia holds 'pigeon smuggler'

We have smuggled grapes in our trousers, even a beer, and for a few, a bananna in our pockets. But the latest smuggler of stuff in your pants would make the gerbil smuggling Richard Gere proud.

Australia holds 'pigeon smuggler'

A man has been caught with two pigeons stuffed in his trousers after he got off a flight from Dubai to Melbourne.
Australian customs officials say the live birds were wrapped in padded envelopes and held to the man's legs by a pair of tights under his trousers.
Officials also found two eggs in a vitamin container in the man's luggage.
Australia has strict quarantine rules on the importation of wildlife, plants and food. The man, 23, could face up to 10 years in jail.
The nation's quarantine regulations are designed to protect health, agriculture and the environment.
As well as 10 years' imprisonment, the maximum sentence for wildlife smuggling includes a fine of A$110,000 (US$70,480; £48,902).
Customs officials say they also seized seeds in the man's money belt and an undeclared aubergine, following the flight on Sunday.
They add that the pigeons were not endangered and that the case, as well as the birds, eggs and seeds, has been turned over to the country's Quarantine Service to assess the health risk.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Surgeons remove healthy kidney through donor's vagina

Oh my god! In what is being heralded as a "first-ever procedure," surgeons removed a healthy kidney through a donor's vagina, the Johns Hopkins Medical Center has announced.

Although the procedure has been previously done to extract cancerous and nonfunctioning kidneys that threatened a patient's health, the January 29 surgery was the first time it was done for donation purposes, the center said in a news release issued Monday.

"The kidney was successfully removed and transplanted into the donor's niece, and both patients are doing fine," Dr. Robert Montgomery, chief of transplant surgery at Johns Hopkins, said in the release.

The surgery is considered less invasive and could pave the way for an increase in organ donations, it added.

"Removing the kidney through a natural opening should hasten the patient's recovery and provide a better cosmetic result," Montgomery said.

He told CNN on Tuesday, "We want to make it easier for people to donate, to have less impact on their lives, [be] in hospital a shorter amount of time and get back to their lives quicker."

Ketosis Says, the only Organ to come out of a Vagina is My Penis. that and a fully developed human baby.

Any thing else is just weird...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Fucked up Police

In Hillsborough County, Florida, police were caught, by their own surveillance cameras, dumping a quadriplegic man from his wheelchair and onto the ground. Apparently they were trying to determine whether or not he actually needed the chair.

Japanese Government Banning Used School Girl Pantie Vending Machines

Japanese Government Banning Used School Girl Pantie Vending Machines, Well scratch off another reason I wont be going to Japan this year. Looks like I will have to just get my Used School Girl Panty fix from the internet.

Here is the story if your interested.

Fart in Class = Jail

In Florida, the home of some of the stupidist people I have ever met,
A 12-year-old boy was arrested November 4 for breaking wind (farting) during class and disturbing his classmates by shutting off their computers at Stuar's Spectrum Jr./Sr. High School.

Well the boy was a disruptive part of the class, buy arrest?

FOUND map of Heaven

Here it is the map of heaven, don't ask me my sources (the internet), but it is here, and I can tell it is real, because what map of heaven would not have "American Land"? Only a real map of Heaven would have "America Land".

Also knowing Heaven it would have to have a "Dinosaur Petting Zoo" and a Go Cart Section. Just past "Family Land" you have "Marital Coitus Castle" and after fucking your wife for centuries you can pop out and a snack or candy from Joab's Candy shop.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Kahn has died

Ricardo Montalban, the suave leading man who was one of the first Mexican-born actors to make it big in Hollywood and who was best known for his role as Mr. Roarke on TV's "Fantasy Island," has died. He was 88.


Bummer, I liked him in most things he did.

Anal Probes and Aliens

The Great Question I have is this...

Why do aliens supposedly give their abduction victims anal probes?

Why would you travel 100,000,000,000,000,000 parsecs to visit earth and stick a probe up a humans ass?

(I might not be able to travel 100,000,000,000,000,000 parsecs but I would travel a great distance to stick MY Probe up Jessica Alba's ass!).

But I would do that as her bottom I find appealing. Does that then apply to our exterterestial visitors? They like butt sex with humans? Should then alien abduction anal sex victims feel better in the knowledge that ET gets randy over their ass? Perhaps, but I feel most of the said victims may have rather less then admirable butts. However one COULD argue that what is a sexy ass to an ET?

Perhaps they have some sick fetish, created as a by product of interstellar travel. the faster then light anal sex side effect of hyper dimensional travel?

Or the effects of long cryogenic sleep may just make you so pissed off you want to stick something in someones ass. (I have had such days myself).

But I have another theroy all together.

Alien Abduction Anal Probes are caused by: Humans sense of humor.

you see the ET's don't laugh. I mean if you want more proof, just look at any movie with aliens in it. ET, War of the Worlds, Independance day, The Day the Earth Stood Still. All of those aliens were all serious or pissed off.

They could not even smile, or say how do you do. They were devoid of silliness, laughter and good times.

Imagine those squid like Martins, popping out of their tripods to sit with Tom Cruise and Katie, setting around the house talking scientology with Mr. Risky Business?

Having some jello pops with Will Smith at his crib?

Because they don't have no sense of humor. So Why the anal probe then?

Because all humor has something to do with the ass, or our digestion systems or sex.

Even knock knock jokes are dirty. So the aliens in their own fucked up logic believe that poop, and ass jokes are related to the center of the human comic organ, somewhere up our ass. Thus the reason for the probe is to find our comic center.