Friday, August 1, 2008

Saving the Planet:

I have 2 ideas for making the world a better place. Simple ideas for a greener world, and a cleaner butt.

1. I fly a lot and every time I get a boarding pass they give me, the boarding pass (I guess that's needed), a ticket jacket and a baggage claim receipt. (I fly overseas, so you HAVE to check in, I cant print my own boarding pass for International travel).

Why not print the baggage receipt on the boarding pass (the part you keep) and eliminate the jacket. With all the 1000s of flights and millions of passengers, would that not save a few trees?

2. Eliminate or greatly reduce toilet paper. WHAT you SAY? Ketosis Junkie is ALL ABOUT a clean starfish. So hold on! Have you ever had a big Osama bin Laden tear out of your sphincter to scrape both sides of your cheeks on the way to the porcelain bowl?

Supposed this happens on a big important day, like a date with a super model of a really important business presentation before 1000 people. You will use LOTS of paper. I mean, no amount of paper will make you feel clean after a double cheek poop squeak. Who wants to try to be in the zone with that unclean butt hole feeling?

So we all use toilet paper (AKA bathroom tissue) every day. (assuming we poop every day). I have traveled the world and in Japan every toilet (public or private) has a built in bidet. At first I thought it was weird. I mean a stream of water shooting up and washing your backside. But after looking at it, I changed my views.

I mean I REALLY LOOKED AT IT. I was in a hotel in Tokyo, and stood in front of the bidet toilet and tried to activate the switches. There was some saftey interlock or weight switch, so I leaned on the seat with my hands, and tried the buttons. Sure enough a stream of water shot into my face. This propelled me backwards in the already too small Japanese bathroom, where I tripped over the shower threshold and fell against the shower head. This acrobatic maneuver left me with a 1 inch gash on the back of my balding head.

Needless to say, I was laughing my bloody head off so much I did not care. I had to re investigate this water jet toilet.

This device has pressure, and temperature control for the stream of water that can be directed at you. It has a back (butt) and front pee pee maker nozzle.

Being a man dedicated to science I spent about an hour, exploring the settings on said bidet toilet. What I came away with, is one can eliminate or greatly reduce the use of bathroom tissue, but utilizing such devices. This would save countless trees used to make ass wipe. But Ketoiss, what about the water? You may use a little more water, but if you dont touch your ass, you dont have to wash your hands!

No comments: